it never works out the first time.

There is nothing more painful in this world than hearing from the person we love the most that she loves someone else. It doesn’t matter how much we love someone. There is always someone else who loves the same person more than we do.

I got an email from N asking me to stop disturbing D. I didn’t really understand what N actually meant by the word ‘disturbing’. How am I supposed to ‘disturb’ my wife-to-be? Even if I’m disturbing, I think I have the right to. Why does he care?

It was not a rude email, though I couldn’t digest it. Who on earth is N? I hadn’t even heard of him from her. I replied asking his contact number. I desperately wanted to talk to him. He gave his number and I called him the next moment. He sounded polite and cool. He was 4 years younger than me. He was a friend of D. Best friends I must say. He told me not to disturb D or her parents again. I was more than shocked. I was in US at the time. I’m wasting my money. I didn’t know what to do.

He was saying each and every word that I and D used to talk over the phone. How the hell he came to know about all that? He told me things I told D which I didn’t even remember. He said he has access to D’s email and he has seen all my emails. He also told me that D is not at all interested to get married to me. I asked why is not D saying this to me and why you? ‘She is afraid to tell you this and she is doing this for her parents. She doesn’t want to make her parents sad. She doesn’t want to insult them.’ – was his reply.

I didn’t utter a word. My heart sank. I asked him about his interest in our case. He said he can’t see D suffering. He warned me to drop this alliance. I asked if he loved her. He said he did and he loves her more than anyone else on the planet.

I called D and asked about N. Not even once had she mentioned about N. She is not in love with him but she fears of a life with me, a life like hell. That’s the word she used to mention how her life would be with me – HELL!

I didn’t say anything. I loved her a lot. I was on the verge of crying. Not because she is going to drop this but for using the word ‘Hell’. I asked her to explain it – What is that I did for her to say it would be hell? She kept mum.

I didn’t even think of dropping the alliance. I loved her. I wanted to marry her. I knew she loved me too somewhere deep inside her heart. I thought I would wait for her. I always wanted to marry the girl I meet first. I mean, the girl I meet which comes as an alliance. You know, it sucks to go meet a lot of girls and dropping them (or they dropping me) for some stupid reasons. I actually did forget about my 2-syndrome.

God’s plan would be completely different from our plans. It had to get dropped. I don’t want to mention the reasons here but I can assure you that it’s not because of the reason I mentioned before. See, how can it be hell? I’m not a bad guy you see. I think I’m good, not very good though. ;)

How would you feel if you hear those words from someone about the person you are going to get married – that he/she loves her/him more than anyone else?

I just want her to be happy whoever she gets married to. She is damn beautiful when she smiles.

PS: I apologize for the length of this post.