idea is good. but nose is mine.

I still remember the incident for it was the first time I played cricket with a stitch ball. I was fielding very close to the batsman and I was obviously nervous. And then, out of the blue, the ball hit my face. I turned around and fell down. I could not see anything for a few seconds.

I stood up and touched my cheeks. I could not even feel my cheeks. I felt something wet on my fingers. Blood! From my nose. I was breathing blood.

I ran to my room and stared into the mirror. No, nothing has happened except blood was flowing as if I opened a water tap. My friends took me to a doctor and luckily there was no bone injury. I was happy that I was breathing air with the same nose.

Its only next day that I noticed. My nose has bent a little. To the right or left, I don't remember. But I was certain that my nose was not in proper condition as it was two days before. I could feel a small 'hump' on my nose. I convinced myself of having a 'crooked nose'.

I had to get rid of it. Desperately. And then it striked me.

I took a small hammer. And I felt stupid of the idea of hitting my nose with a hammer to set it straight. It was not that stupid as long as no one is watching me. I patted my nose a couple of times staring into the mirror but it didn't help. I needed support - support for my nose, I mean.

I supported my nose on the edge of a table and I patted again. No. Not working. Okay. Last try. I hit my nose hard. Just once. And I went blind.

Wow! I felt I'm the stupidest person alive on the planet.

Photo Credit: Lars Sundstrom / Image / Website

read between the lines.

'I don't have anymore pics. Honestly.'

What can the above sentence mean?

what is that you want to prove?

Whatever I did is wrong. And everything you did is unquestionably right. I agree. You were Mother Teresa and I was Adolf Hitler. You suffered all the pain - as you say it.

What pain? I'm sure you dont even know the meaning of the word 'Pain'. Everything happened the way you wanted it. And now, the blame on me. Wow!

I've no pain, no emotions, no feelings. I'm a machine.

Happy?

Photo Credit: Ania2882 / Image

pinocchio in me.

Why do we write blogs? Does it give any kind of satisfaction or mental relief once we jot down our thoughts? Does it mean that whatever we write is true?

No. Its not always true. I mix up things happened in my life and someone else's life. Sometimes I take stuffs happened in someone else's life and write as if it happened to me few hours ago. Blog, though we write it, we dont read it. We write it for others. If we dont want others to read, why dont we write personal diaries instead of blogs?

Blogs are for entertainment. Before I write something, I used to think, will the readers like this post? Will they comment on my post? Will they come back again to read my future posts? What would they feel if I write about this topic. I want to entertain people. I hope everyone does the same. People write/read blogs to kill time, to get a break, to shed their thoughts, to shed their tensions.

As I said in one of my previous posts, no one has the right to question us about what we write in our blog as long as we dont specifically mention their name or a picture or any other information that can lead to finding them. It can be a coincidence. Or it can be anything else for that matter. You can't judge someone just by reading their blogs.

Please don't believe what I write. A 'story', by the word itself, is a lie. That makes the story-teller a liar. So am I.

PS: Now, the question is, can you believe this post? That makes this post, a paradox.

Photo Credit: Lorenzo González / Image

it never works out the first time.

There is nothing more painful in this world than hearing from the person we love the most that she loves someone else. It doesn’t matter how much we love someone. There is always someone else who loves the same person more than we do.

I got an email from N asking me to stop disturbing D. I didn’t really understand what N actually meant by the word ‘disturbing’. How am I supposed to ‘disturb’ my wife-to-be? Even if I’m disturbing, I think I have the right to. Why does he care?

It was not a rude email, though I couldn’t digest it. Who on earth is N? I hadn’t even heard of him from her. I replied asking his contact number. I desperately wanted to talk to him. He gave his number and I called him the next moment. He sounded polite and cool. He was 4 years younger than me. He was a friend of D. Best friends I must say. He told me not to disturb D or her parents again. I was more than shocked. I was in US at the time. I’m wasting my money. I didn’t know what to do.

He was saying each and every word that I and D used to talk over the phone. How the hell he came to know about all that? He told me things I told D which I didn’t even remember. He said he has access to D’s email and he has seen all my emails. He also told me that D is not at all interested to get married to me. I asked why is not D saying this to me and why you? ‘She is afraid to tell you this and she is doing this for her parents. She doesn’t want to make her parents sad. She doesn’t want to insult them.’ – was his reply.

I didn’t utter a word. My heart sank. I asked him about his interest in our case. He said he can’t see D suffering. He warned me to drop this alliance. I asked if he loved her. He said he did and he loves her more than anyone else on the planet.

I called D and asked about N. Not even once had she mentioned about N. She is not in love with him but she fears of a life with me, a life like hell. That’s the word she used to mention how her life would be with me – HELL!

I didn’t say anything. I loved her a lot. I was on the verge of crying. Not because she is going to drop this but for using the word ‘Hell’. I asked her to explain it – What is that I did for her to say it would be hell? She kept mum.

I didn’t even think of dropping the alliance. I loved her. I wanted to marry her. I knew she loved me too somewhere deep inside her heart. I thought I would wait for her. I always wanted to marry the girl I meet first. I mean, the girl I meet which comes as an alliance. You know, it sucks to go meet a lot of girls and dropping them (or they dropping me) for some stupid reasons. I actually did forget about my 2-syndrome.

God’s plan would be completely different from our plans. It had to get dropped. I don’t want to mention the reasons here but I can assure you that it’s not because of the reason I mentioned before. See, how can it be hell? I’m not a bad guy you see. I think I’m good, not very good though. ;)

How would you feel if you hear those words from someone about the person you are going to get married – that he/she loves her/him more than anyone else?

I just want her to be happy whoever she gets married to. She is damn beautiful when she smiles.

PS: I apologize for the length of this post.

yes, i'm from kerala n its a land of coconut trees. omg.

I've been hearing the same question from day 1. I'm done answering their stupid questions. YES! I'm from Kerala and its a land of coconut trees.

You use coconut in every dish you make? NO!

You drink coconut water? YES!

So coconuts might be very cheap in Kerala, isn't it? NO! Not so cheap. Rs.10/coconut

You eat rice with your hands :O? YES!

I've been to Koocheen. I liked the people there. They have lot of respect for others. Its not Koocheen ma'am. Its Cochin.

Hey, isn't that funny you have something like lemon-rice, sambar-rice, curd-rice in Kerala? No, not so funny like alu-paratha, chana-paratha, gobi-paratha in Delhi.

and the list goes on and on and on.

But you know what? I liked the people here. They are so friendly and all that. And I'm so very surprised that I cant find a single guy (at least my friends here) who haven't f**ked at least once. Really. I'm not joking. And they are so open about it. :|

Photo Credit: Sibi / Image

tata photon plus - 'unlimited plan' sucks.

Hi Reader (if someone is reading :D),

If you have any plan to change your current Tata Photon Plus plan to an 'Unlimited Usage' plan, please dont. It sucks.

I feel its better to choose a time-based or data-based plan depending on your usage. But, please please please, dont go for an unlimited plan. They say they provide 3.1 Mbps speed upto 10 GB (changes depending on the plan you choose) and rest will be around 155 Kbps.

Though they say all this, I have never seen the 'speed touching even 100 Kbps, ever since I changed the plan. When I was using the time-based plan (monthly rental of Rs. 950), I could see the speeds upto 2.5 Mbps.

So people, shed Tata Photon Unlimited or go for BSNL. I really dont believe its me suggesting to opt for BSNL broadband. My previous experience with BSNL was way too bad but now I must say I'm more than happy with BSNL.

This post is not to promote BSNL Broadband. Okay. Its upto you. I just wanted to give a heads-up before you go for Photon Plus.

10 minutes, 20 questions, 12 right answers!

I wrote the most important exam of my life. I thought it would be really easy. My sir gave me a booklet of 100 questions out of which 20 will come for the test and I just need to get 12 answers right. No negative marking. Once entered, no going back!

The (Ultimate) Test:
Its an online exam. 1o minutes. 20 multiple-choice questions, 3 computers. 3 persons at a time. No copying. No bit of papers. Nothing! Cant think of something tougher.

The Exam Hall:
The test usually starts at 10 AM. I didnt have any plans to write the test today for they conduct test 3 days in a week. But my sir phoned me and asked me to go and attend it today hoping there wont be any rush. After all its a weekday. I went for the test at 11 AM and there were at least 25 of them waiting for the test. There is a computer in the hall where you can try the 'mock test'. I tried it a few many times. Got used to the pattern and type of questions and got ready for the test.

The Question Paper:
The computer displayed my picture, my address and whatever information I had filled in the form. Few seconds later it showed 'Hit the green button'. It was not difficult for me to find the green button for there were only three 'keys' visible. I answered the first one and got it right. I felt it easy. Further on, it became tougher. I got tensed. My fingers started shivering. I started to concentrate more. Again! Wrong answer. I've got plenty of time. But running short of questions. I got 7 right answers out of 12 I attempted. OMG! I need more questions. What the hell does this symbol mean? I havent seen symbols like that in my life. I started to guessing the answers. More wrong answers.

Somewhere Between 'The Question Paper' And 'The Result':
8 out of 15. Only 5 more questions and need 4 right answers. OMG! I have never prayed like that even during my board exams. I was thinking about the embarrassment when I get out of the hall. OK. Wrong answer again! WTF! 4 questions and I need to get all of them right. Luckily, next three questions were simple ones. 8 more minutes and one question left!

The Result:
Last question. I saw the picture of something I have never seen before and the question was to interpret the meaning of it. I chose the 3rd option. Immediately the screen displayed 'CONGRATULATIONS! YOU PASSED!'

Result After The Result:
I waited for the person there for he had to stick some paper on my application form. He did whatever he had to. I got it signatured for his superior officer. And there I'm. I finally got the Leaner's Driving License! :D

PS:
If I ever happened to get the last answer wrong, I would be the first human being on the planet to fail the learner's driving license test. Also, this was the first test I ever wished if I had more questions to answer. khe khe khe...

PPS:
This is the picture:

No Through Side Road

mera number kab ayega? ;)

In a lifetime the average person spends around 336 hours kissing - equivalent to a fortnight-long snog.
^^
I just read this in Yahoo FTP (by ANI). This is just a snippet. You can read the full post here. If what they say is true, I just cant wait for my 336 hours. khe khe khe... ;)

PS: Sorry ANI if what I'm doing is plagarism.

PPS: Please note the change in my blog title :D

aftershave and after shave.

Let me come to the point straight.

I accidentally slipped my Gillette aftershave lotion and some of it splashed on the floor. My mom came shouting and asked me what happened.

I: I slipped the aftershave lotion.
Mom: Oh that's bad. Is it too costly?
I: No, not really.
M: I know you spend a lot these days. Who do you think you are? Kochi rajavinde kochu mono? (read: are you the grandson of Kochi Maharaja?)
I: What happened now for you to say this?
M: Why did you call the cab to go to that marriage function?
I: Mom, please...stop this.
M: If you start spending like this, you are going to suffer a lot. If you are like this now, what will happen to our expenses once we get our car?
I: Its not me who booked the car. Its Dad. Ask him.
M: What will you do after your marriage? You cant spend like this. You know, if we had spent money like what you are doing now, you wouldn't be in this place you are now.
I: I know. Now please stop this. I know you all suffered a lot. But this is 2011. And this is how people are these days.

She and I went on and on and on even after the shave. I cursed the moment I spilled the bottle.

Oh my god. Sometimes we just cant control them. Parents are always like that. They just want their kids to be happy. I can understand what they feel. But I just cant stop spending money. khe khe khe... See, I'm not wasting it. I'm spending for what I feel is useful. :|

over n' out.

I still remember the phone call I received from my friend around 3 years ago. I remember not because of the importance of the subject we were into, but because of the way he ended it. You may wonder why I'm writing about that now. Nothing serious. Just wanted to make a note of the incident. At least it was a not-so-pleasant phone call.

*

Yesterday when I came to bed, I was just thinking about how our professions affect our everyday life. There are some people who deliberately want to 'show' the effects and others who don't. My friend falls on the former category.

*

'Over and Out! That is what he said that day. I hope you all know who uses these words. Aviators or Pilots! Just because he was doing the 'Piloting' course. He is such an a**. He is so dumb that he doesn't understand even people around him detest him.

*

I was wondering, if that was the case, what would I, being a software engineer, be using? I thought about the logic my so-dumb-of-a-human friend used. Over and Out - to end their conversation or whatever they call it. In my case, we write programs or codes. I must be using 'Return 0' (read zero) or an 'Exit 0' (read zero). Just think how funny it would be if I use that instead of a 'bye'. Someone might be writing a similar post in their blog.

you have got to be rude at times.

My email to Odyssey

Hi,

I regret to say that I'm completely disappointed by your customer service. I had purchased a book online around 9 days back. And I'm yet to receive the book. It shows 'yet to deliver' and Shipped date is left blank when I checked in the Odyssey Website. During the time of purchase, the book was supposed to get delivered within 6 days.

I once again want to say that I'm very much disappointed by Odyssey and I made a mistake purchasing book thru Odyssey. This will be my first and last purchase. I just lost my Rs.330.

FYI, I even wrote a blog post about my experience with Odyssey. I just wanted to pass my experience with my friends too, so that they wont make the same mistake.

Thanks a lot for your services.

If you really mean to 'care' (as in your email id) your customers, please do respond with the status. Thanks a lot.

Hoping you would reply before the world ends.
Anoop KR

***

Odyssey's reply

Dear Sir,

First, we sincerely apologize for the delay.

We are extremely regretted for having you write a mail to us on letting you disappointed. We are making all our efforts to procure the book "THE SPY WHO CAME IN FROM THE COLD". We are keeping it on priority, once the book is available with us probably by Tuesday(9th Nov), we will ship it to your address immediately.

We will keep you updated on Monday on the availability of the book.

Thanks & regards,

Customer Care
Odyssey360

say no to Odyssey

If you ever happen to purchase books online, please do say 'NO' to Odyssey. I have had my first and last experience with Odyssey. They have a very surprising website and all that stuff. When it comes to Customer Care or Customer Satisfaction, its a big ZERO.

I happened to read about the book here and here. I felt it interesting and I decided to buy it. I checked the price in Landmark website. Oops, very expensive. I dont know if they make books with plastic-coated papers. Then I checked it in Odyssey website. The price was reasonable compared to that of Landmark. I decided to buy it. I read a note which said 'Shipped in 5-6 working days'. Believe me, I bought the book two weeks back and still I havent received it.

When I checked my account in their website, it says 'yet to deliver'. OK. I thought I would send an email to them about my order status. I did twice. No reply. I telephoned them. FUCK! Its always number-busy. After trying for half hour, it began to ring. No answer.

Odyssey Sucks! I would better go for Flipkart. I have purchased around 10 books through Flipkart. Not even once I have had a bad opinion about them. They say 3 days and deliver it in 2 days.

Some lessons come with a price tag. With Odyssey, I paid Rs.330 to learn it.

this is about a girl.

They both were from the same village somewhere in North India. They studied together. Same school, same class. So they were in college too. They were in love. But they never said that to each other. He was so madly in love with her. And one fine day, he proposed her. She felt she was on top of the world. She felt they were the only living beings on the planet.

Time went by. 7 years to be more precise. She got a job meanwhile. So did he. Luck was on their side. They worked in the same BPO company, though, unfortunately, different shifts. Still they were happy together. They stayed together. They were happily-unmarried-couples. Their intentions were pure. They wanted to get married more than anything.

Sex! That's the reason why some people like the concept of love and some people hate. Sex is an essential part of life. Its always good for a long-lasting-relationship. How about sex before marriage? Not all but few appreciate it. They belonged to those 'few'. We all know where sex-before-marriage leads. Of Course, Abortion!

He did not mean to cheat. And he never did. They were not in a position to get married at the time and raise a child. Their parents never knew about this. Though they knew about their affair and were fully supportive. They were happy again.

Until she met new-him.

Maybe the 'city culture' changed her, or her friends in BPO industry changed her, or maybe 'new-he' was so charming. As a matter of fact, he really was. 6 feet 2, heavily-built, sexy looks. Old-he never knew she was going out with him. Old-he was still under the impression that she still loved him. Until the day arrived.

New-he came to Old-he's house with her and hit him so badly with a hockey stick and warned him not to bother her. The sad part, which I felt, is the-ugly-fucking-whore was right in front of him when he was hitting him.

He was unconscious and his friends took him to the hospital. When he had enough strength to move his tongue, he asked for her. All he wanted to know is the reason why she left him. At least they loved each other for 7+ years.

PS: This is based on a real story.

voting format is 'PFL ANOOP'

OK. This is the era of reality shows. This post is not about reality shows if you are confused about the title. These days 'SMS voting' has become very common and people spend a lot of money to vote for their favorite candidates.

I'm not a candidate here. I'm not going to dance or sing or cook but plead. PFL! (Pleading For Life)

I'm on a very important mission. D-Day is September 1 2010. I have 5 days. And I have to make the decision of my life. I need your prayers.

So, please vote for me. Voting format is 'PFL ANOOP'.

:D

in US.

I never in my life thought I would be in US some day. I always wanted to be in US when I see movies, the big buildings, ultra luxury cars and all that. Now that I'm here, I dont wanna be here even for a day. First reason - food!

First Rule: If you are a 'Veggie', US is not your place. Not that I'm a veggie but here they dont have a concept of Vegetarian. There is a special kind. 'Chicketarian - those who eat chicken alone' khe khe khe...

There are a few things which I 'found' about this place.
1. Technology - you can see the impact of technology almost everywhere in US. Even inside your bathroom.
2. People are 'huge' here not cuz they are healthy but cuz they are 'fat'. They eat chicken or turkey or beef or french fries all the time. ALL THE TIME!
3. I guess you can never find water in its 'normal' temperature. Cold is soooooo cold and hot is soooo hot (even inside the bathroom).
4. Side-walks on the road are so neat - cuz there are no people who walk. You cant live here without a car.
5. Guy who has a car is richer than the guy who has a BMW. That sounds crazy but its true. Maybe he who has a Rolls Royce is rich but not any other model.
6. You can get a car for $6000. You cant think of a bike unless you have at least $25,000.

Some pictures I clicked! May not be good... :D






















This was taken at 7 PM!!!





PS: Blah blah blaaahh....

i'm not 18. please.

Situation 1: with friends
I called my friends to invite them for my engagement. I text them too. And 99% of my friends are surprised to hear that I'm getting engaged so soon. They ask if 'Child Marriage' is still on at my place. WTF :|

Situation 2: office
My manager came to my cubicle and asked my colleague if he had any problem to go to US. She looked at me and said I obviously wont have any problem cuz I'm not married. I was like shocked to hear that. I told my manager that I'll get committed soon. She looked at me with her mouth opened. She asked 'How old am I?'

FACT 1:
OK. Everyone wanna hear they look so young. But not me. I sometimes get so irritated to accept the fact that I look so young though I'm 26. I dont grow much of beard or mustache. Lot of people used to tease me for that. I reply to them asking to think about how they look after 10 years.

FACT 2:
I use Santoor soap BTW. I'm feeling so lucky. khe khe khe...

the lazy me.

Will someone believe if I tell you that whatever I have written in this blog were just stories and not even a word were true? No. Nobody will trust that. But I'm in a situation to hide my blog. I wish if my blog went invisible. khe khe khe...

Dont be afraid, OK? I'm not into any terrorism or something like that. Say around a year back, one of my friend's marriage got dropped just cuz of a scrap from one of her friend. I was wondering what was there in that scrap for that matter? Hmmm.. whatever!

I'm in Bengaluru now. I dont get to update my blogs very often. I must say I'm least interested to write blogs these days. No much of work in office. Its the same since 3 yrs. I'm way too lazy than I were 3 yrs before.

Okay. Blog updated. My laziness is working. Let me stop. Would come up with some interesting topic soon. Meanwhile please pray for my blog to turn invisible before 'she' see this. khe khe khe.. I must be so courageous to write like this in here. Maybe after a year or so, I would be the one again updating my blog saying about the fights I had with her cuz of my blog. ;)

Photo Credit: C O / Image

the d-day.

I'm sure you people have watched lot of movies where the gal brings tea for the guy, they exchange sights and wear a smile on their face. Today I happened to experience it. OMG! I got no words to explain the situation.

I was dumbstruck when the gal's father asked if he can ask her daughter to bring tea for us. I shook my head. I saw her coming from the kitchen with a tray with tea-cups. I looked at her for a second. She did too. I dint look at her face when she gave me a cup of tea.

I dont want to explain what all happened there but everything went good. She is fine. I'm good too. Hope everything will turn out to be good.

May 23rd, Sunday has turned out to be one of the most important days of my life. The D-Day, the day I met my 'D' (her name starts with 'D').

Photo Credit: Octavio Lopez / Image

where the heck is venus?

'Venus is in 7th column. Sun is in 4th column and Jupiter is in the 9th column. See, 1st column, 2nd column and these columns are all left blank. No...We cant take this horoscope, no matter how good the girl is!' they exclaimed.

I'm sure by the time I get married, I will get to learn astrology. Now I can understand how our great-elders talk astrology when it comes to a marriage. I'm surprised when I find myself looking at the horoscopes and checking for 'paapam' (technical words - cant help it :D).

I don't understand how these planets, so very millions of kilometers away from earth, affect a living being living on earth. Worst case - how it affects only those who live in India? :O

'Why are you in such a hurry to get married, Son? You will regret once you get married.' my father said winking at me and giving a I-dint-say-anything look at mom.

As a matter of fact, I'm not in a hurry to get married. I'm just 26. But I get fed up when they look at these horoscopes and reject saying Venus is in the 7th / 8th column (Chovva Dosham - technical term :D). Chovva Dosham is known to be the worst of all Doshams - God-knows-what! I keep looking for Venus when I find a horoscope. Isn't that funny? :D

I tell you, if you people go for horoscope-match, only 1 in 200 will suit yours. :P Better you find one for yourself and elope! khe khe khe...

Photo Credit: Fabian Lehner / Image