its all about perception.

In the above image, is the statue actually on her head? Of course not. Though it may look so. Its actually an illusion. The angle at which the photographer took the picture creates an illusion so that an onlooker feels the statue is on her head.

It all depends on the way you look at it, the way you perceive it. We may do something which may seem very right to us. It shouldn't possibly be right to someone else.

So, why am I saying all this now?

I don't understand why its always 'HE' who ditched 'HER'? Can't it be 'SHE' who ditched 'HIM'? They just don't care who is right and who is wrong.

All they do care is, IN THE PICTURE, the statue is on HER head.

Photo Credit: Horton Group / Image / Website

it never works out the first time.

There is nothing more painful in this world than hearing from the person we love the most that she loves someone else. It doesn’t matter how much we love someone. There is always someone else who loves the same person more than we do.

I got an email from N asking me to stop disturbing D. I didn’t really understand what N actually meant by the word ‘disturbing’. How am I supposed to ‘disturb’ my wife-to-be? Even if I’m disturbing, I think I have the right to. Why does he care?

It was not a rude email, though I couldn’t digest it. Who on earth is N? I hadn’t even heard of him from her. I replied asking his contact number. I desperately wanted to talk to him. He gave his number and I called him the next moment. He sounded polite and cool. He was 4 years younger than me. He was a friend of D. Best friends I must say. He told me not to disturb D or her parents again. I was more than shocked. I was in US at the time. I’m wasting my money. I didn’t know what to do.

He was saying each and every word that I and D used to talk over the phone. How the hell he came to know about all that? He told me things I told D which I didn’t even remember. He said he has access to D’s email and he has seen all my emails. He also told me that D is not at all interested to get married to me. I asked why is not D saying this to me and why you? ‘She is afraid to tell you this and she is doing this for her parents. She doesn’t want to make her parents sad. She doesn’t want to insult them.’ – was his reply.

I didn’t utter a word. My heart sank. I asked him about his interest in our case. He said he can’t see D suffering. He warned me to drop this alliance. I asked if he loved her. He said he did and he loves her more than anyone else on the planet.

I called D and asked about N. Not even once had she mentioned about N. She is not in love with him but she fears of a life with me, a life like hell. That’s the word she used to mention how her life would be with me – HELL!

I didn’t say anything. I loved her a lot. I was on the verge of crying. Not because she is going to drop this but for using the word ‘Hell’. I asked her to explain it – What is that I did for her to say it would be hell? She kept mum.

I didn’t even think of dropping the alliance. I loved her. I wanted to marry her. I knew she loved me too somewhere deep inside her heart. I thought I would wait for her. I always wanted to marry the girl I meet first. I mean, the girl I meet which comes as an alliance. You know, it sucks to go meet a lot of girls and dropping them (or they dropping me) for some stupid reasons. I actually did forget about my 2-syndrome.

God’s plan would be completely different from our plans. It had to get dropped. I don’t want to mention the reasons here but I can assure you that it’s not because of the reason I mentioned before. See, how can it be hell? I’m not a bad guy you see. I think I’m good, not very good though. ;)

How would you feel if you hear those words from someone about the person you are going to get married – that he/she loves her/him more than anyone else?

I just want her to be happy whoever she gets married to. She is damn beautiful when she smiles.

PS: I apologize for the length of this post.

after these many years.

It’s been a long time since I wrote anything about you. Actually I haven’t written anything good about you. I created this blog when you broke up with me. I wanted to humiliate you through this blog. But now, I feel happy for you.

These are the occasions where we feel the presence of God. I feel the pain of losing you. There were times where I could not even think of you being with someone else.

I would like to take this opportunity to say my sorry for everything I did to you. For hurting you to the core, for pushing you away when you tried to hug me, for making you cry on the middle of the road, for keeping you on hold for more than an hour on phone, for having had you hospitalized, for humiliating you through my Orkut profile updating the ‘About me’ section. I know you have taken a print-out of it as a token of my hatred. I sometimes feel I would have got you back if I haven’t done what I did.

I’m sorry K****u (I really want to spell your name but I don’t want to). I didn’t mean to hurt you. The day we talked for the last time on phone, the day you said you are not mine anymore, I went mad. I wanted to kill myself. Though I shouted at you, I loved you somewhere deep inside my heart. I thought you will come back after a while. I never knew you loved me this lot to let me go away.

Friends used to say about those times I used to go out at 2 AM in the night after fighting with you. I was madly in love with you. I have never loved someone so seriously. I have no feeling left in my mind for someone else. I realize that now.

I cherish the way you loved me. I want someone to love me the way you loved me, the way you used to stop me from talking to any other girl, the way you used to call me ‘anu’, the way you call me every half hour if you didn’t see my msg, the way you kiss my ears, the way you hug me, the way you touch my cheeks, the way you hold my hands. I cherish each and every second I had spent with you. I now know how valuable you were to me.

Now, you are married to someone else. I’m happy that God found you a perfect guy except, for what I feel, that he smokes. But I’m sure you will be happy in your life. I’ve never cursed you and never will.

I really don’t love you now. It’s just that I wanted to let go off my feelings completely. And I feel this is the right time.

You may or may not be reading this post. But please forgive me. I’m sorry.

Photo Credit: D Sharon Pruitt / Image

i never knew she loved me this lot.

How do you feel when someone you love the most is getting married to someone else? I'm sure you would get hurt. At least for a second I used to think 'if she came running at the last moment...' And if it happened, that would be the sweetest and most memorable moment of my entire life and worst moment of others' lives. I've thought about stuffs of that sort. I wish I were the one who married the gal I loved the most, no matter what.

But now, situation is just opposite to what it used to be. Before, I used to think 'Why cant she come running to me?' Now, I'm supposed to be the one running.

I know someone who loves me so much. I know she wants me to marry her. Should I run-away from where I'm supposed to be, shouting 'I Love You too'? Or just leave everything to God?

Photo Credit: Mike Coombes / Image / Website

and happily ever after.

Hari still remember Veena once said that she will call him after marriage and they will be friends-for-ever. Though hari never believed that. If Hari was possessive about her 'friend' and he did not want her to have other friends, how can her 'husband' not be possessive about her?

Hari is accepting the fact that 'people change'. Girls especially...after marriage. Its not their fault. Its natural. They cant help it. Even their 'name' changes. khe khe khe...

best friend's engagement.

I will tell you a story.

Two friends, one boy and a girl (lets say Hari and Veena). They met 7 years ago. They were so close that they could not even think of a day without talking to each other. They loved each other a lot. Really a lot. One fine day, she told her friend that her office-mate (Rahul) proposed her. It was kind of hard for her friend. Not because he loved her but he was so possessive about her. He could spare anything in this world, but not her and her love. He wanted all of it.

They fought a lot because of her office mate for that guy used to call or message her. One day Hari received a text message addressed to Rahul. Hari was shocked to see the message for that was not a 'friendly' message. When Hari asked about the message, she revealed the truth that she loves him.

Hari was sad from the day Veena told about her love. Hari had no choice but to accept the facts. The number of text messages Hari received reduced exponentially. He couldn't stand the changes to their friendship. In the mean time, Hari got an opportunity to go to US. He had no contacts with Veena when he was there. He got busy. She got busy too with her love.

He came back from US to know that Veena is getting engaged. He at least thought she would let him know about her marriage. But she never did. She had 'sent-to-many' an invitation-mail. He was dumbstruck. That was not the kind of email he was expecting as her invitation. But he had no choice but to wait for her call. He was so egoistic that he did not bother to call her. He wanted Veena to call him and invite him.

He thought Veena will call her the day before her engagement. But she didn't. August 19 2010, Veena got engaged. August 30 2010, Veena will get married to Rahul. And Hari is still waiting for her call.

the d-day.

I'm sure you people have watched lot of movies where the gal brings tea for the guy, they exchange sights and wear a smile on their face. Today I happened to experience it. OMG! I got no words to explain the situation.

I was dumbstruck when the gal's father asked if he can ask her daughter to bring tea for us. I shook my head. I saw her coming from the kitchen with a tray with tea-cups. I looked at her for a second. She did too. I dint look at her face when she gave me a cup of tea.

I dont want to explain what all happened there but everything went good. She is fine. I'm good too. Hope everything will turn out to be good.

May 23rd, Sunday has turned out to be one of the most important days of my life. The D-Day, the day I met my 'D' (her name starts with 'D').

Photo Credit: Octavio Lopez / Image

for you, with all heart...on April 21

Many Many happy returns of the day! Happy Birthday!

This birthday is special. First birthday after fixing your marriage, First birthday since I started writing this blog and so on and on... Let this birthday be special for you in all ways.

I never thought I would wish you like this, thru my blog. I always wanted to call you at 12 at nite to be the very first person to wish you. But this time I'm skeptic about it. Will you like it? You would be expecting his call at 12, right? :D

I thought we would always be best friends. We used to say it most of the time. But we 'just' say it. you drew an invisible line between us. I have to think twice before I say something. You got no time to listen to me.

Wishing you all the happiness in this world! Love you! I miss you!

Photo Credit: Daniel Andres Forero / Image

i wanna be alone.

I deleted my Orkut account. I'm more than happy for having deleted it cuz I don't need any friends.

I had a time in my life where I used to spend time with my 7 cats at home. I loved them a lot. Really a lot. I always wanted them to be with me. But all of a sudden, I started to losing them. Some ran away. Two of them died right in front of my eyes. I (mercy) killed one cuz she met an accident and that was the bestest thing we could do to her. I cried a lot that day. Then we decided not to grow anymore pets at home. Its not cuz we don't love them or we don't care for them.

We may not be able to withstand when we feel that we lost them or when we know that we will lose them. Better not to have any than having one now and regretting later.

And for that matter, I don't need any friends. Not anymore!

Photo Credit: Vee Bee / Image

love n' time.

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?"

Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!"
"I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you."
"Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder,

Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who Helped me?"
"It was Time," Knowledge answered.
"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."

PS: Just a forward mail I received today.

this is what she wrote for me.

Unniii......he is my bessst bessst frnd...as evryone says he's so loving,caring....yea ofcos he is good at scratching too...hehe...we r the very best frnds n u cant find an othr copy of us nywr in this universe......we r simply unique.....yeah our fight is our identity..thr is no such day that we don fgt....n at that time u can see the worst part of unni.....oh no...i cant think of it....but i love him sooooooooo much.....than anything......n unniiiiiiiiii u r my besssst frnd....n we are togethr in our every heart beats.....

n to say abt his crazes....he is crazy of tt, sudoku, mindseeker, blogging, chatting,now reading tooo,..n it goes on....but these all his periodical crazes....hehee.... if i strt writing abt him ,i cant stop....but lemme stop for now.....rest i'll tell u in person...

Missing u alwaz...love you loaaadssssss.........

PS: This is her testimonial for me. And BTW, 'Unni' is my pet name.

my third testimonial for her.

Hmm..she s my best frnd and this is my 3rd testi for her. i m not satisfied by the limit they provide us to write the testi..especially when it comes to her. i jus run outa words. She is the best and she is all i have. You wont find a more loving and caring gal anywhere on the planet. i'm sure abt it.

Di...ithrem mathiyo? ineem parayano?? hehehe...love u lots di...really more than i hav done yet...n will continue doing. mis u a tonne. n i was wondering how many testis wil orkut support for if i start writing testi wheneva i miss u....hehehe..
love uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...

PS: I miss you...

my second testimonial.

Testimonial Part 2:

mathi vayichathu.. hmm... vegam poyi eniku oru testimonial ezhuthu... illengi avide vannu njan chavittum ninne...hhehehe... nee chirikkandaa...love u miss u di pattyy...

i got lots to write..i ll write another testi l8r :D mis uuuuuuuu

PS: My next testimonial for her. Hmmm...

my first testimonial...for her.

Hmm... She is my best friend n am her best friend. i dono wat else to write about her..i hav been thinkin f writin s testimonial for her for quite sometime... :D i m glad tat got an opportunity now.. As i said b4, she s my bestest frnd n m her bestestest frnd too.. :D
we fight al the time n tats our identity... hehehe..

she means so much to me... she s sooo caring, sooo lovely, soooo cute, soooooo beautiful (gal on the planet) n m so proud to hav her in my life.. WE ARE BEST-FRIENDS-REDEFINED! We are unique and no frnds on the planet wud be like the way we are..

one day when i showed her foto to one f my frnd, she said 'hey she looks like an angel' she was absolutely wrong. i corrected her.. she IS an angel... lil angel!

love u really lots di... tonnes n tonnes n tonnes...

PS: My first testimonial I wrote for her in Orkut! This testimonial don't deserve there anymore!

i'm no good at heart.

Having hurt by someone in the past doesn't mean that you can expect some good in the future. You will be punished for all mistakes you did. It took really long time for me to understand this fact. I used to expect good things to happen in my life but I never did something good.

I hurt almost everyone who loves me. And keep loving them more and more. It was too late by the time I figured out that I was actually hurting them even more. I just thought I was loving them.

Another funny fact about me is, I keep saying what mistakes I did. And I think I eventually will escape from being punished just because I accepted my mistake. Accepting the mistake doesnt mean that I don't deserve the punishment.

I'm done. I can feel my future.

i dont deserve to be happy.

Not a single incident happened in my life which would make me really happy or which I would love to happen. My sixth sense started to working.

When I have a strong positive feeling about something, then I can be fucking sure that it will end negatively. And vice versa.

i wont cry again.

I never happened to know the importance of creating a profile in matrimony website until I created one today. I never in my dreams thought I will create a profile. My parents wanted me to create one for their ease.

OK. This post is not about explaining my experience after creating the profile. I hope you are aware about my previous post of my best friend getting married. So it's almost done. I wish you all happiness in this world. My parents phoned today evening.

I talked to Mom then. I told her that my best friend is getting married. My mom went silent. She knew I loved her. She had no words to say. She asked me not to take it to heart. I wanted to shout out of pain. I started to developing a habit of taking deep breaths when I'm sad, tensed or angry. I controlled my maximum but I couldn't stop tears rolling down my cheeks. I dint make a sound. Hope Mom dint notice. I have to accept the facts, no matter how worse it is.

I promise, that was the last drop of tear to shed from my eyes. I wont cry again.

PS: March 28, 2010 has turned out to be a very important day in my life. BTW, March 29 is one of my friend's birthday. Wish you all success in life. Many many happy returns of the day!

Photo Credit: Linden Laserna / Image / Website

if i'm not wrong.

I received a text message from my friend. It was about the difference between 'Best Friends' and 'Lovers'. It said 'A true friend is always one step ahead than a lover'. Very true!

She was tryin to console me saying that I would never be alone even after her marriage. I dont think anything right nowadays. She missed a very important point. The message said a best friend is one step ahead than a lover. But many steps lower than that of a husband.

Photo Credit: Sanja Gjenero / Image

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Just to keep this day, March 18 2010, in my mind for it was a beautiful day. After waiting for more than a month, I got a gift from my best friend. I dint get kissed though (as the picture suggests). But it was as precious as a 'kiss'.

not friendship. not love.

We are the 'bestest' friends you can ever find on the planet. I fall in love with you every now and then. But then, when I fight for silly reasons, I think I can never love you the way I did before. Again, when its all over, I used to wonder if I can, ever, be angry on you.

Our relationship is beyond words. Like I said, you cant find the word 'bestest' in a dictionary.

PS: I...I don't know.

Photo Credit: Julie Elliott-Abshire / Image / Website