idea is good. but nose is mine.

I still remember the incident for it was the first time I played cricket with a stitch ball. I was fielding very close to the batsman and I was obviously nervous. And then, out of the blue, the ball hit my face. I turned around and fell down. I could not see anything for a few seconds.

I stood up and touched my cheeks. I could not even feel my cheeks. I felt something wet on my fingers. Blood! From my nose. I was breathing blood.

I ran to my room and stared into the mirror. No, nothing has happened except blood was flowing as if I opened a water tap. My friends took me to a doctor and luckily there was no bone injury. I was happy that I was breathing air with the same nose.

Its only next day that I noticed. My nose has bent a little. To the right or left, I don't remember. But I was certain that my nose was not in proper condition as it was two days before. I could feel a small 'hump' on my nose. I convinced myself of having a 'crooked nose'.

I had to get rid of it. Desperately. And then it striked me.

I took a small hammer. And I felt stupid of the idea of hitting my nose with a hammer to set it straight. It was not that stupid as long as no one is watching me. I patted my nose a couple of times staring into the mirror but it didn't help. I needed support - support for my nose, I mean.

I supported my nose on the edge of a table and I patted again. No. Not working. Okay. Last try. I hit my nose hard. Just once. And I went blind.

Wow! I felt I'm the stupidest person alive on the planet.

Photo Credit: Lars Sundstrom / Image / Website

next to God.

God just love to see some people suffering. No matter how good they are.

I saw a programme in one of the malayalam channel about a mother who lost 5 of her 9 kids and 6th one is waiting for his turn. They all had kidney trouble. I felt so bad about them. I know sympathy is not what they want. I really want to help. I cant lend them a kidney. But I can surely spare some money for them.

Please, before you spend some money on luxury, before you spend money on something which you can live without, even if its a 100 bucks, help people who really need it.

At least you can tell yourself that you did something. Something not even God did.

PS: Many many happy returns. Happy Birthday.

Photo Credit: Luke Gamson / Image

it never works out the first time.

There is nothing more painful in this world than hearing from the person we love the most that she loves someone else. It doesn’t matter how much we love someone. There is always someone else who loves the same person more than we do.

I got an email from N asking me to stop disturbing D. I didn’t really understand what N actually meant by the word ‘disturbing’. How am I supposed to ‘disturb’ my wife-to-be? Even if I’m disturbing, I think I have the right to. Why does he care?

It was not a rude email, though I couldn’t digest it. Who on earth is N? I hadn’t even heard of him from her. I replied asking his contact number. I desperately wanted to talk to him. He gave his number and I called him the next moment. He sounded polite and cool. He was 4 years younger than me. He was a friend of D. Best friends I must say. He told me not to disturb D or her parents again. I was more than shocked. I was in US at the time. I’m wasting my money. I didn’t know what to do.

He was saying each and every word that I and D used to talk over the phone. How the hell he came to know about all that? He told me things I told D which I didn’t even remember. He said he has access to D’s email and he has seen all my emails. He also told me that D is not at all interested to get married to me. I asked why is not D saying this to me and why you? ‘She is afraid to tell you this and she is doing this for her parents. She doesn’t want to make her parents sad. She doesn’t want to insult them.’ – was his reply.

I didn’t utter a word. My heart sank. I asked him about his interest in our case. He said he can’t see D suffering. He warned me to drop this alliance. I asked if he loved her. He said he did and he loves her more than anyone else on the planet.

I called D and asked about N. Not even once had she mentioned about N. She is not in love with him but she fears of a life with me, a life like hell. That’s the word she used to mention how her life would be with me – HELL!

I didn’t say anything. I loved her a lot. I was on the verge of crying. Not because she is going to drop this but for using the word ‘Hell’. I asked her to explain it – What is that I did for her to say it would be hell? She kept mum.

I didn’t even think of dropping the alliance. I loved her. I wanted to marry her. I knew she loved me too somewhere deep inside her heart. I thought I would wait for her. I always wanted to marry the girl I meet first. I mean, the girl I meet which comes as an alliance. You know, it sucks to go meet a lot of girls and dropping them (or they dropping me) for some stupid reasons. I actually did forget about my 2-syndrome.

God’s plan would be completely different from our plans. It had to get dropped. I don’t want to mention the reasons here but I can assure you that it’s not because of the reason I mentioned before. See, how can it be hell? I’m not a bad guy you see. I think I’m good, not very good though. ;)

How would you feel if you hear those words from someone about the person you are going to get married – that he/she loves her/him more than anyone else?

I just want her to be happy whoever she gets married to. She is damn beautiful when she smiles.

PS: I apologize for the length of this post.

and happily ever after.

Hari still remember Veena once said that she will call him after marriage and they will be friends-for-ever. Though hari never believed that. If Hari was possessive about her 'friend' and he did not want her to have other friends, how can her 'husband' not be possessive about her?

Hari is accepting the fact that 'people change'. Girls especially...after marriage. Its not their fault. Its natural. They cant help it. Even their 'name' changes. khe khe khe...

voting format is 'PFL ANOOP'

OK. This is the era of reality shows. This post is not about reality shows if you are confused about the title. These days 'SMS voting' has become very common and people spend a lot of money to vote for their favorite candidates.

I'm not a candidate here. I'm not going to dance or sing or cook but plead. PFL! (Pleading For Life)

I'm on a very important mission. D-Day is September 1 2010. I have 5 days. And I have to make the decision of my life. I need your prayers.

So, please vote for me. Voting format is 'PFL ANOOP'.

:D

best friend's engagement.

I will tell you a story.

Two friends, one boy and a girl (lets say Hari and Veena). They met 7 years ago. They were so close that they could not even think of a day without talking to each other. They loved each other a lot. Really a lot. One fine day, she told her friend that her office-mate (Rahul) proposed her. It was kind of hard for her friend. Not because he loved her but he was so possessive about her. He could spare anything in this world, but not her and her love. He wanted all of it.

They fought a lot because of her office mate for that guy used to call or message her. One day Hari received a text message addressed to Rahul. Hari was shocked to see the message for that was not a 'friendly' message. When Hari asked about the message, she revealed the truth that she loves him.

Hari was sad from the day Veena told about her love. Hari had no choice but to accept the facts. The number of text messages Hari received reduced exponentially. He couldn't stand the changes to their friendship. In the mean time, Hari got an opportunity to go to US. He had no contacts with Veena when he was there. He got busy. She got busy too with her love.

He came back from US to know that Veena is getting engaged. He at least thought she would let him know about her marriage. But she never did. She had 'sent-to-many' an invitation-mail. He was dumbstruck. That was not the kind of email he was expecting as her invitation. But he had no choice but to wait for her call. He was so egoistic that he did not bother to call her. He wanted Veena to call him and invite him.

He thought Veena will call her the day before her engagement. But she didn't. August 19 2010, Veena got engaged. August 30 2010, Veena will get married to Rahul. And Hari is still waiting for her call.

marriages happen in heaven? depends.

I have never come across a situation like this in my life. I have heard of such news through my friends, through newspaper. It was one of my distant relative's marriage yesterday. And the girl ran-away with someone one day before the wedding.

The news was a shock to everyone and the groom almost lost his life. I dont know if they got to talk over phone (cuz that happens a lot these days) and get acquainted. But she honestly could have avoided this kind of embarrassment in the very last moment. What was inside her mouth when the engagement happened?

But there is a reason for her waiting till the wedding day. She eloped with all the gold her parents bought for her. Luckily, groom's parents happened to find some girl in their distant-relation and got them married on time.

Will she ever escape from the curses of those many people? Will love make people so blind? Thank God, she dint elope on the day of wedding. OMG!

people change. gals especially.

Ahem!

I thought my friendship with her will never end. She did change. Like any other girl. I dont know whats happening to me. She got no reason to tell him when I talk to her. She dont wanna fight with him saying she is talking to her best friend.

Wishing her all happiness in this world.

for you, with all heart...on April 21

Many Many happy returns of the day! Happy Birthday!

This birthday is special. First birthday after fixing your marriage, First birthday since I started writing this blog and so on and on... Let this birthday be special for you in all ways.

I never thought I would wish you like this, thru my blog. I always wanted to call you at 12 at nite to be the very first person to wish you. But this time I'm skeptic about it. Will you like it? You would be expecting his call at 12, right? :D

I thought we would always be best friends. We used to say it most of the time. But we 'just' say it. you drew an invisible line between us. I have to think twice before I say something. You got no time to listen to me.

Wishing you all the happiness in this world! Love you! I miss you!

Photo Credit: Daniel Andres Forero / Image

this does exist.

I'm completely out of my mind these days that I forgot that I got a blog to update. I thought I will stop writing blogs also. But this is my only entertainment these days. I mean reading other blogs. I can feel the difference in me. I used to comment on other blogs and I used to reply for the comments I receive.

What now? I dont care about anything happening in my life.

People change. And so did I.

i wanna be alone.

I deleted my Orkut account. I'm more than happy for having deleted it cuz I don't need any friends.

I had a time in my life where I used to spend time with my 7 cats at home. I loved them a lot. Really a lot. I always wanted them to be with me. But all of a sudden, I started to losing them. Some ran away. Two of them died right in front of my eyes. I (mercy) killed one cuz she met an accident and that was the bestest thing we could do to her. I cried a lot that day. Then we decided not to grow anymore pets at home. Its not cuz we don't love them or we don't care for them.

We may not be able to withstand when we feel that we lost them or when we know that we will lose them. Better not to have any than having one now and regretting later.

And for that matter, I don't need any friends. Not anymore!

Photo Credit: Vee Bee / Image

this is what she wrote for me.

Unniii......he is my bessst bessst frnd...as evryone says he's so loving,caring....yea ofcos he is good at scratching too...hehe...we r the very best frnds n u cant find an othr copy of us nywr in this universe......we r simply unique.....yeah our fight is our identity..thr is no such day that we don fgt....n at that time u can see the worst part of unni.....oh no...i cant think of it....but i love him sooooooooo much.....than anything......n unniiiiiiiiii u r my besssst frnd....n we are togethr in our every heart beats.....

n to say abt his crazes....he is crazy of tt, sudoku, mindseeker, blogging, chatting,now reading tooo,..n it goes on....but these all his periodical crazes....hehee.... if i strt writing abt him ,i cant stop....but lemme stop for now.....rest i'll tell u in person...

Missing u alwaz...love you loaaadssssss.........

PS: This is her testimonial for me. And BTW, 'Unni' is my pet name.

my third testimonial for her.

Hmm..she s my best frnd and this is my 3rd testi for her. i m not satisfied by the limit they provide us to write the testi..especially when it comes to her. i jus run outa words. She is the best and she is all i have. You wont find a more loving and caring gal anywhere on the planet. i'm sure abt it.

Di...ithrem mathiyo? ineem parayano?? hehehe...love u lots di...really more than i hav done yet...n will continue doing. mis u a tonne. n i was wondering how many testis wil orkut support for if i start writing testi wheneva i miss u....hehehe..
love uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...

PS: I miss you...

my first testimonial...for her.

Hmm... She is my best friend n am her best friend. i dono wat else to write about her..i hav been thinkin f writin s testimonial for her for quite sometime... :D i m glad tat got an opportunity now.. As i said b4, she s my bestest frnd n m her bestestest frnd too.. :D
we fight al the time n tats our identity... hehehe..

she means so much to me... she s sooo caring, sooo lovely, soooo cute, soooooo beautiful (gal on the planet) n m so proud to hav her in my life.. WE ARE BEST-FRIENDS-REDEFINED! We are unique and no frnds on the planet wud be like the way we are..

one day when i showed her foto to one f my frnd, she said 'hey she looks like an angel' she was absolutely wrong. i corrected her.. she IS an angel... lil angel!

love u really lots di... tonnes n tonnes n tonnes...

PS: My first testimonial I wrote for her in Orkut! This testimonial don't deserve there anymore!

i got fucked at 3 in the mornin.

I'm tensed. My heart is beating so fast that I can feel its pressure on my eyes. I'm not feeling sleepy. I've never prayed to God before the way I did today. All I wanted was to fall asleep. God never listened to my prayers. He never will. He thinks I'm cruel. And so am I.

I'm fucked. I never understood the value of a girl friend till 11.10 PM yesterday. Now I do. Please. I'm not desperate to find a girl friend. Read it again. I understood the value of one.

I wanna write a lot many things but running out of words. I don't know. I don't believe in God. I will never ever pray again. Not in my life.

Now the time is 3. 03 AM. Time to stop this shit. Bye!

i'm no good at heart.

Having hurt by someone in the past doesn't mean that you can expect some good in the future. You will be punished for all mistakes you did. It took really long time for me to understand this fact. I used to expect good things to happen in my life but I never did something good.

I hurt almost everyone who loves me. And keep loving them more and more. It was too late by the time I figured out that I was actually hurting them even more. I just thought I was loving them.

Another funny fact about me is, I keep saying what mistakes I did. And I think I eventually will escape from being punished just because I accepted my mistake. Accepting the mistake doesnt mean that I don't deserve the punishment.

I'm done. I can feel my future.

i dont deserve to be happy.

Not a single incident happened in my life which would make me really happy or which I would love to happen. My sixth sense started to working.

When I have a strong positive feeling about something, then I can be fucking sure that it will end negatively. And vice versa.

happy birthday email...on April 1st.

It was not too tough for me to remember that email which I received 8 years back for it just had 'Happy Birthday to you on April 1st'. I was kind of shocked to read that email. I had just sent her a blank email on March 31st. She was actually my friend's girl friend ;)

I dont want to get into the story part of it. I just wanted to refresh my memories about her. She was once my very best friend. She got married and our friendship ended just like that. Our friendship would have turned 8 years old if she were with me now. Hmmm...

PS: This 'New Editor' sucks!

Photo Credit: Ulrik De Wachter / Image

i wont cry again.

I never happened to know the importance of creating a profile in matrimony website until I created one today. I never in my dreams thought I will create a profile. My parents wanted me to create one for their ease.

OK. This post is not about explaining my experience after creating the profile. I hope you are aware about my previous post of my best friend getting married. So it's almost done. I wish you all happiness in this world. My parents phoned today evening.

I talked to Mom then. I told her that my best friend is getting married. My mom went silent. She knew I loved her. She had no words to say. She asked me not to take it to heart. I wanted to shout out of pain. I started to developing a habit of taking deep breaths when I'm sad, tensed or angry. I controlled my maximum but I couldn't stop tears rolling down my cheeks. I dint make a sound. Hope Mom dint notice. I have to accept the facts, no matter how worse it is.

I promise, that was the last drop of tear to shed from my eyes. I wont cry again.

PS: March 28, 2010 has turned out to be a very important day in my life. BTW, March 29 is one of my friend's birthday. Wish you all success in life. Many many happy returns of the day!

Photo Credit: Linden Laserna / Image / Website

if i'm not wrong.

I received a text message from my friend. It was about the difference between 'Best Friends' and 'Lovers'. It said 'A true friend is always one step ahead than a lover'. Very true!

She was tryin to console me saying that I would never be alone even after her marriage. I dont think anything right nowadays. She missed a very important point. The message said a best friend is one step ahead than a lover. But many steps lower than that of a husband.

Photo Credit: Sanja Gjenero / Image