for you, with all heart...on April 21

Many Many happy returns of the day! Happy Birthday!

This birthday is special. First birthday after fixing your marriage, First birthday since I started writing this blog and so on and on... Let this birthday be special for you in all ways.

I never thought I would wish you like this, thru my blog. I always wanted to call you at 12 at nite to be the very first person to wish you. But this time I'm skeptic about it. Will you like it? You would be expecting his call at 12, right? :D

I thought we would always be best friends. We used to say it most of the time. But we 'just' say it. you drew an invisible line between us. I have to think twice before I say something. You got no time to listen to me.

Wishing you all the happiness in this world! Love you! I miss you!

Photo Credit: Daniel Andres Forero / Image

this does exist.

I'm completely out of my mind these days that I forgot that I got a blog to update. I thought I will stop writing blogs also. But this is my only entertainment these days. I mean reading other blogs. I can feel the difference in me. I used to comment on other blogs and I used to reply for the comments I receive.

What now? I dont care about anything happening in my life.

People change. And so did I.

i wanna be alone.

I deleted my Orkut account. I'm more than happy for having deleted it cuz I don't need any friends.

I had a time in my life where I used to spend time with my 7 cats at home. I loved them a lot. Really a lot. I always wanted them to be with me. But all of a sudden, I started to losing them. Some ran away. Two of them died right in front of my eyes. I (mercy) killed one cuz she met an accident and that was the bestest thing we could do to her. I cried a lot that day. Then we decided not to grow anymore pets at home. Its not cuz we don't love them or we don't care for them.

We may not be able to withstand when we feel that we lost them or when we know that we will lose them. Better not to have any than having one now and regretting later.

And for that matter, I don't need any friends. Not anymore!

Photo Credit: Vee Bee / Image

love n' time.

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?"

Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!"
"I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you."
"Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder,

Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who Helped me?"
"It was Time," Knowledge answered.
"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."

PS: Just a forward mail I received today.

you are not her.

I never thought this would happen to me. Can people change like this within such a short period of time? Marriages happen in heaven. So where does these engagements happen? In a hospital or something? How can these people forget their friends so soon?

She used to have lot of time for me. Not now. She got engaged and time is all gone. They are on phone most of the time. Obviously, they gotta be and let them be. But at least they cant they spend a couple of minutes for their friends?

Family, friends or relatives or even God standing next to them is not a problem when they talk to the one they gonna marry. But when he or she sees a friend's message, the reply is 'Hey...ppl around me. Msg you l8r'. Irony was I had just seen her mobile on waiting for more than an hour.

I never thought this would happen to me. Its all gone. They are in a dream-world now. He is the only person visible there.

PS: I dont know. I'm done with this. I cant suffer this anymore. Even God isn't interested in my worries and how can I expect a friend to resolve this?

Photo Credit: Lauren Lank / Image

this is what she wrote for me.

Unniii......he is my bessst bessst frnd...as evryone says he's so loving,caring....yea ofcos he is good at scratching too...hehe...we r the very best frnds n u cant find an othr copy of us nywr in this universe......we r simply unique.....yeah our fight is our identity..thr is no such day that we don fgt....n at that time u can see the worst part of unni.....oh no...i cant think of it....but i love him sooooooooo much.....than anything......n unniiiiiiiiii u r my besssst frnd....n we are togethr in our every heart beats.....

n to say abt his crazes....he is crazy of tt, sudoku, mindseeker, blogging, chatting,now reading tooo,..n it goes on....but these all his periodical crazes....hehee.... if i strt writing abt him ,i cant stop....but lemme stop for now.....rest i'll tell u in person...

Missing u alwaz...love you loaaadssssss.........

PS: This is her testimonial for me. And BTW, 'Unni' is my pet name.

my third testimonial for her.

Hmm..she s my best frnd and this is my 3rd testi for her. i m not satisfied by the limit they provide us to write the testi..especially when it comes to her. i jus run outa words. She is the best and she is all i have. You wont find a more loving and caring gal anywhere on the planet. i'm sure abt it.

Di...ithrem mathiyo? ineem parayano?? hehehe...love u lots di...really more than i hav done yet...n will continue doing. mis u a tonne. n i was wondering how many testis wil orkut support for if i start writing testi wheneva i miss u....hehehe..
love uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...

PS: I miss you...

my second testimonial.

Testimonial Part 2:

mathi vayichathu.. hmm... vegam poyi eniku oru testimonial ezhuthu... illengi avide vannu njan chavittum ninne...hhehehe... nee chirikkandaa...love u miss u di pattyy...

i got lots to write..i ll write another testi l8r :D mis uuuuuuuu

PS: My next testimonial for her. Hmmm...

my first testimonial...for her.

Hmm... She is my best friend n am her best friend. i dono wat else to write about her..i hav been thinkin f writin s testimonial for her for quite sometime... :D i m glad tat got an opportunity now.. As i said b4, she s my bestest frnd n m her bestestest frnd too.. :D
we fight al the time n tats our identity... hehehe..

she means so much to me... she s sooo caring, sooo lovely, soooo cute, soooooo beautiful (gal on the planet) n m so proud to hav her in my life.. WE ARE BEST-FRIENDS-REDEFINED! We are unique and no frnds on the planet wud be like the way we are..

one day when i showed her foto to one f my frnd, she said 'hey she looks like an angel' she was absolutely wrong. i corrected her.. she IS an angel... lil angel!

love u really lots di... tonnes n tonnes n tonnes...

PS: My first testimonial I wrote for her in Orkut! This testimonial don't deserve there anymore!

i got fucked at 3 in the mornin.

I'm tensed. My heart is beating so fast that I can feel its pressure on my eyes. I'm not feeling sleepy. I've never prayed to God before the way I did today. All I wanted was to fall asleep. God never listened to my prayers. He never will. He thinks I'm cruel. And so am I.

I'm fucked. I never understood the value of a girl friend till 11.10 PM yesterday. Now I do. Please. I'm not desperate to find a girl friend. Read it again. I understood the value of one.

I wanna write a lot many things but running out of words. I don't know. I don't believe in God. I will never ever pray again. Not in my life.

Now the time is 3. 03 AM. Time to stop this shit. Bye!

i'm no good at heart.

Having hurt by someone in the past doesn't mean that you can expect some good in the future. You will be punished for all mistakes you did. It took really long time for me to understand this fact. I used to expect good things to happen in my life but I never did something good.

I hurt almost everyone who loves me. And keep loving them more and more. It was too late by the time I figured out that I was actually hurting them even more. I just thought I was loving them.

Another funny fact about me is, I keep saying what mistakes I did. And I think I eventually will escape from being punished just because I accepted my mistake. Accepting the mistake doesnt mean that I don't deserve the punishment.

I'm done. I can feel my future.

i dont deserve to be happy.

Not a single incident happened in my life which would make me really happy or which I would love to happen. My sixth sense started to working.

When I have a strong positive feeling about something, then I can be fucking sure that it will end negatively. And vice versa.