what is that you want to prove?

Whatever I did is wrong. And everything you did is unquestionably right. I agree. You were Mother Teresa and I was Adolf Hitler. You suffered all the pain - as you say it.

What pain? I'm sure you dont even know the meaning of the word 'Pain'. Everything happened the way you wanted it. And now, the blame on me. Wow!

I've no pain, no emotions, no feelings. I'm a machine.

Happy?

Photo Credit: Ania2882 / Image

what goes around, comes around.

Pre-Script: Ninu, this one is for you and for you alone.

If you hurt someone with a stone, sooner or later someone else will hurt you with a different stone. I dont know if I make any sense. But what I said is true. I have had a lot of experiences and I'm yet to learn from it. Because right now, I'm going to throw a stone at someone.

I love to take revenge. Most of the time I let the feeling go off my head. But there are situations where the gush leaves a scar deep inside my mind. No matter how hard I try, the scar stays intact.

I dont know if I'm the only person on earth to take revenge this way - I look into their eyes and smile at them when they are suffering from pain. No big deal. Just smile.

Yes, I know. We are not going to meet again, ever. I can text you a smiley though. That would do. I know you will see me in your mind. I dont know if that smiley will ever make you shed a tear. I wish it would. I'm very cruel at times. Never thought you would be a victim. Though I never thought you will say 'that' in the first place.

PS: Ironically, someone might be waiting to smile at me. I dont care.

tata photon plus - 'unlimited plan' sucks.

Hi Reader (if someone is reading :D),

If you have any plan to change your current Tata Photon Plus plan to an 'Unlimited Usage' plan, please dont. It sucks.

I feel its better to choose a time-based or data-based plan depending on your usage. But, please please please, dont go for an unlimited plan. They say they provide 3.1 Mbps speed upto 10 GB (changes depending on the plan you choose) and rest will be around 155 Kbps.

Though they say all this, I have never seen the 'speed touching even 100 Kbps, ever since I changed the plan. When I was using the time-based plan (monthly rental of Rs. 950), I could see the speeds upto 2.5 Mbps.

So people, shed Tata Photon Unlimited or go for BSNL. I really dont believe its me suggesting to opt for BSNL broadband. My previous experience with BSNL was way too bad but now I must say I'm more than happy with BSNL.

This post is not to promote BSNL Broadband. Okay. Its upto you. I just wanted to give a heads-up before you go for Photon Plus.

over n' out.

I still remember the phone call I received from my friend around 3 years ago. I remember not because of the importance of the subject we were into, but because of the way he ended it. You may wonder why I'm writing about that now. Nothing serious. Just wanted to make a note of the incident. At least it was a not-so-pleasant phone call.

*

Yesterday when I came to bed, I was just thinking about how our professions affect our everyday life. There are some people who deliberately want to 'show' the effects and others who don't. My friend falls on the former category.

*

'Over and Out! That is what he said that day. I hope you all know who uses these words. Aviators or Pilots! Just because he was doing the 'Piloting' course. He is such an a**. He is so dumb that he doesn't understand even people around him detest him.

*

I was wondering, if that was the case, what would I, being a software engineer, be using? I thought about the logic my so-dumb-of-a-human friend used. Over and Out - to end their conversation or whatever they call it. In my case, we write programs or codes. I must be using 'Return 0' (read zero) or an 'Exit 0' (read zero). Just think how funny it would be if I use that instead of a 'bye'. Someone might be writing a similar post in their blog.

say no to Odyssey

If you ever happen to purchase books online, please do say 'NO' to Odyssey. I have had my first and last experience with Odyssey. They have a very surprising website and all that stuff. When it comes to Customer Care or Customer Satisfaction, its a big ZERO.

I happened to read about the book here and here. I felt it interesting and I decided to buy it. I checked the price in Landmark website. Oops, very expensive. I dont know if they make books with plastic-coated papers. Then I checked it in Odyssey website. The price was reasonable compared to that of Landmark. I decided to buy it. I read a note which said 'Shipped in 5-6 working days'. Believe me, I bought the book two weeks back and still I havent received it.

When I checked my account in their website, it says 'yet to deliver'. OK. I thought I would send an email to them about my order status. I did twice. No reply. I telephoned them. FUCK! Its always number-busy. After trying for half hour, it began to ring. No answer.

Odyssey Sucks! I would better go for Flipkart. I have purchased around 10 books through Flipkart. Not even once I have had a bad opinion about them. They say 3 days and deliver it in 2 days.

Some lessons come with a price tag. With Odyssey, I paid Rs.330 to learn it.

this is about a girl.

They both were from the same village somewhere in North India. They studied together. Same school, same class. So they were in college too. They were in love. But they never said that to each other. He was so madly in love with her. And one fine day, he proposed her. She felt she was on top of the world. She felt they were the only living beings on the planet.

Time went by. 7 years to be more precise. She got a job meanwhile. So did he. Luck was on their side. They worked in the same BPO company, though, unfortunately, different shifts. Still they were happy together. They stayed together. They were happily-unmarried-couples. Their intentions were pure. They wanted to get married more than anything.

Sex! That's the reason why some people like the concept of love and some people hate. Sex is an essential part of life. Its always good for a long-lasting-relationship. How about sex before marriage? Not all but few appreciate it. They belonged to those 'few'. We all know where sex-before-marriage leads. Of Course, Abortion!

He did not mean to cheat. And he never did. They were not in a position to get married at the time and raise a child. Their parents never knew about this. Though they knew about their affair and were fully supportive. They were happy again.

Until she met new-him.

Maybe the 'city culture' changed her, or her friends in BPO industry changed her, or maybe 'new-he' was so charming. As a matter of fact, he really was. 6 feet 2, heavily-built, sexy looks. Old-he never knew she was going out with him. Old-he was still under the impression that she still loved him. Until the day arrived.

New-he came to Old-he's house with her and hit him so badly with a hockey stick and warned him not to bother her. The sad part, which I felt, is the-ugly-fucking-whore was right in front of him when he was hitting him.

He was unconscious and his friends took him to the hospital. When he had enough strength to move his tongue, he asked for her. All he wanted to know is the reason why she left him. At least they loved each other for 7+ years.

PS: This is based on a real story.

visa fuckin interview.

Okay. Probably this will be my first and last post for this month. I'm also on the verge of losing interest to update my blogs.

Few days back, I had my first every US VISA interview. I fucked it. Not that I screwed the interview. Actually my VISA got approved. But I fucked the fucking VISA formalities. My company arranged my accommodation in a hotel nearby US embassy. I was asked not to carry anything other than the file which they gave me and also my degree certificates just in case. I did exactly what they asked me to do. I dint even carry my wallet.

The guy who checks the VISA fee receipt and other details caught me saying the photo on the application is no good. My spectacle frame crosses my eye ball and for security reasons, they asked me to get another photo. FUCK! I ran back to my hotel room to get the money to take the photo.

It did not end there. I stood behind the queue again waiting for my turn. And now, the guy in the counter asked me to press my right-hand-finger-tips on god-knows-what. I pressed my finger tips as he said. Unfortunately he was a malayalee and after noticing my permanent address, he scolded me in malayalam asking to keep my hands proper blah blah blah.. I wanted to shout 'FUCK YOU!' What on earth finger-tips mean? It means finger fucking T-I-P-S. Not the whole finger. I was fucked. Thank god he dint have the authority to reject my VISA. That would be the last thing I want and the first thing he wanted. khe khe khe...

Luckily, my VISA got approved and flying to US on Sunday July 11th. OMG! My first ever travel outside India. Hope I wont screw it during the immigration check. khe khe khe...

Photo Credit: Pedro Maia / Image

WTF is akshaya tritiya?

I don't understand why people are so concerned about this day. I see people rushing into the gold stores to buy ornaments. Even when people know that the price is running too high on this day, they are crazy about buying gold on the same day.

Gold stores are making a lot of money on these days. They are unnecessarily giving a hype about this 'Akshaya Tritiya', only God knows what that really is. Even I can see special programs on TV based on this 'auspicious event'. Wow! How easily medias are making the public so dumb?

marriages happen in heaven? depends.

I have never come across a situation like this in my life. I have heard of such news through my friends, through newspaper. It was one of my distant relative's marriage yesterday. And the girl ran-away with someone one day before the wedding.

The news was a shock to everyone and the groom almost lost his life. I dont know if they got to talk over phone (cuz that happens a lot these days) and get acquainted. But she honestly could have avoided this kind of embarrassment in the very last moment. What was inside her mouth when the engagement happened?

But there is a reason for her waiting till the wedding day. She eloped with all the gold her parents bought for her. Luckily, groom's parents happened to find some girl in their distant-relation and got them married on time.

Will she ever escape from the curses of those many people? Will love make people so blind? Thank God, she dint elope on the day of wedding. OMG!

i really am smart.

I received some text messages few days back. It was from the consultancy through which I got selected in Hyderabad-Company. Messages were kind of rude saying that I should have informed about rejecting the offer earlier. 'She' had also mentioned that she has never met such a smart and greedy guy in her life. Khe khe khe...

I take it as a compliment. In one way or the other every one in this world are selfish. But not everyone in this world are smart. So that message clearly said I'm smart. But is that the way to contact a person? Sending rude text messages?

I replied as an email saying blah blah blah stupid reasons to justify my lies. I also thanked her for calling me smart. It was kind of War-of-Words. khe khe khe... I got sudden rude-replies from her. She was complaining about my professionalism.

Fuck her! I actually wanted to copy-paste those emails here. But then I wouldn't be a professional. Actually I'm not. khe khe khe...cuz I feel I gave rude replies too :D But thats OK. She did first. Khe khe khe...

So, that's all about it. I'm gonna join Bangalore-Company on 10th this month.

PS: I know this post made no sense to anyone. I cant help it though. I'm out of my mind.

this does exist.

I'm completely out of my mind these days that I forgot that I got a blog to update. I thought I will stop writing blogs also. But this is my only entertainment these days. I mean reading other blogs. I can feel the difference in me. I used to comment on other blogs and I used to reply for the comments I receive.

What now? I dont care about anything happening in my life.

People change. And so did I.

i wanna be alone.

I deleted my Orkut account. I'm more than happy for having deleted it cuz I don't need any friends.

I had a time in my life where I used to spend time with my 7 cats at home. I loved them a lot. Really a lot. I always wanted them to be with me. But all of a sudden, I started to losing them. Some ran away. Two of them died right in front of my eyes. I (mercy) killed one cuz she met an accident and that was the bestest thing we could do to her. I cried a lot that day. Then we decided not to grow anymore pets at home. Its not cuz we don't love them or we don't care for them.

We may not be able to withstand when we feel that we lost them or when we know that we will lose them. Better not to have any than having one now and regretting later.

And for that matter, I don't need any friends. Not anymore!

Photo Credit: Vee Bee / Image

i got fucked at 3 in the mornin.

I'm tensed. My heart is beating so fast that I can feel its pressure on my eyes. I'm not feeling sleepy. I've never prayed to God before the way I did today. All I wanted was to fall asleep. God never listened to my prayers. He never will. He thinks I'm cruel. And so am I.

I'm fucked. I never understood the value of a girl friend till 11.10 PM yesterday. Now I do. Please. I'm not desperate to find a girl friend. Read it again. I understood the value of one.

I wanna write a lot many things but running out of words. I don't know. I don't believe in God. I will never ever pray again. Not in my life.

Now the time is 3. 03 AM. Time to stop this shit. Bye!

i'm no good at heart.

Having hurt by someone in the past doesn't mean that you can expect some good in the future. You will be punished for all mistakes you did. It took really long time for me to understand this fact. I used to expect good things to happen in my life but I never did something good.

I hurt almost everyone who loves me. And keep loving them more and more. It was too late by the time I figured out that I was actually hurting them even more. I just thought I was loving them.

Another funny fact about me is, I keep saying what mistakes I did. And I think I eventually will escape from being punished just because I accepted my mistake. Accepting the mistake doesnt mean that I don't deserve the punishment.

I'm done. I can feel my future.

i dont deserve to be happy.

Not a single incident happened in my life which would make me really happy or which I would love to happen. My sixth sense started to working.

When I have a strong positive feeling about something, then I can be fucking sure that it will end negatively. And vice versa.

i wont cry again.

I never happened to know the importance of creating a profile in matrimony website until I created one today. I never in my dreams thought I will create a profile. My parents wanted me to create one for their ease.

OK. This post is not about explaining my experience after creating the profile. I hope you are aware about my previous post of my best friend getting married. So it's almost done. I wish you all happiness in this world. My parents phoned today evening.

I talked to Mom then. I told her that my best friend is getting married. My mom went silent. She knew I loved her. She had no words to say. She asked me not to take it to heart. I wanted to shout out of pain. I started to developing a habit of taking deep breaths when I'm sad, tensed or angry. I controlled my maximum but I couldn't stop tears rolling down my cheeks. I dint make a sound. Hope Mom dint notice. I have to accept the facts, no matter how worse it is.

I promise, that was the last drop of tear to shed from my eyes. I wont cry again.

PS: March 28, 2010 has turned out to be a very important day in my life. BTW, March 29 is one of my friend's birthday. Wish you all success in life. Many many happy returns of the day!

Photo Credit: Linden Laserna / Image / Website

waiting for 'capital punishment'.

Have you ever been happy and sad at the same time? Today I happened to experience it. The news almost took my breath away. This is just the beginning. All I fear is, if this is just the beginning, how worse would be the end?

Photo Credit: Martin Walls / Image

yours forever, hopefully.

My bestest friend is gonna get married. I was just thinking how I'm gonna survive without talking to her. I have heard girls change after marriage. I hope it wont be the case with my friend. But sometimes I get so jealous over the one who is gonna marry her. I don't know. I don't want her to love someone else. I know its of no use saying. I know one day I will be out of her mind. She will start loving her husband. I dint mean to say that she will forget me, but eventually the 'love-factor' will degrade.

So, before she stops loving me, let me stop it. I wont call or message her after her marriage. Perhaps she will miss me. Let her. I'm gonna miss her too anyway.

I'm wondering how many people would be there in this world like me. But nobody can help it.

PS: I dint mean to say that people will lose their best friends after marriage. There are exceptional cases also. I just fear that I may lose her after her marriage. Its well and good if I dint. But what if i do lose her? It may take the breath out of me. I'm sure gals wouldn't need their best-friend after marriage like the way they needed him/her before marriage. This post maybe the biggest blunder I have ever written in my blog. I'm sorry. I just wanted to write this down somewhere.

some company-policies suck.

Formal dress from Monday to Thursday. Business Casuals on Friday. This is the dress-code most of the companies follow. And so do my company also. Business Casuals doesn't include round-necks. I dint know that. In fact, I dint know the one I wore was a round-neck. As you may see in the picture, the t-shirt is not having a collar. But I 'thought' still it wasn't a round-neck :((

I got inside the company as usual. Company has hired security-personnel and they do intense scrutiny to check if the employees are following the dress-f*ckin-code. Securities are there everywhere, near the lift, near the staircase, near each and every door entrance. I crossed the main entrance and nobody stopped me. I wasn't lucky enough for long. The security on the 2nd floor caught me and he called another guy who was on the first floor. He also did a thorough check-up just like a bomb-squad does. Security-head asked me to go change the dress. F*CK!

I thought of 'half-a-kilometer walk in the hot sun' to go back to my room and change. I had to do it. They made me do it.

so, will that help?

One of my colleague is gonna get married. Today he came to me and asked for my help.

'I don't know how to talk to girls. And I need your advice. I know you are an expert.' He said.

I was shocked to hear that. But I dint show it. ;) khe khe khe... Ok. Jokes apart. He explained the situation. He phoned his girl few days back and his call was on waiting. He tried to call her 2-3 times. But still it was on waiting and she dint bother to cut it and call him back. He, obviously, got tensed. After sometime she called him but he refused to answer. She kept calling for sometime and finally he answered.

SPLASH! THAMAAAR!! BANG!!! *he shouts, she cries blah blah blah...*

So, this is a problem with guys mainly. They get possessive very soon. In fact, guys fall in love very soon. And for that reason, they get possessive. I guess girls do like it, thought they wont expect guys to shout at them. I told this to my friend. His facial expressions clearly said he dint understand a word! I made it simple.

'Next time when you see her number busy, just tell her that her voice is so cute and he don't want others to hear her sweet voice.' I said.

PS: I've a best friend. One day she will also get married. So what if her guy asks her not to talk to me saying the same dialogue, maybe after reading my blog :O I cant stand that. Now the question is, will I ask my girl not to talk to others??? :D

PPS: I'm wondering why the hell he said I'm an expert in talking to girls. Seriously! :O :D And sorry if you people think the title, picture and the blog-post are no way related to each other (on earth) :D

Photo Credit: Roman Balog / Image