Yes, chaos it was.

2 months back -
I wanted to release from project. My managers dint approve. I had to submit my resignation. They made lot of problems. They asked me to stay and serve the notice period. Meanwhile, My parents told me its a very bad time for me according to astrology.

Almost the same time, one of my friend got selected in the same company where i got selected. I felt happy for it. At least i got company. But for my confusion, I got an offer from another company but with a higher pay. I felt happier.

My managers was not releasing me from the project at all. They made lot of problems and they said they can relieve me only on Dec 7th. I told this to the companies which offered me job. They luckily were fine. My parents called me in between and said after consulting the astrologer that till Dec 7th its really very bad time for me. I was confused then. But that isnt the purpose of this post.

1 month back -
My friend which i mentioned earlier also got an offer from the same company again. Now, i was also confused to go where. 1st company is in a place near to my native place, just 4hrs away. 2nd company is in Chennai itself. But i decided to stay back in Chennai cuz now my 'company' is here for my friend cuz he rejected the 1st company. :(

Yesterday -
I informed the 1st company that I received another offer from another company and they are paying me more. So i would more likely join them if you wouldnt re-consider my pay structure. 1st company is in great danger now. They had scheduled the project and assignments and all those shits. They called me and asked for my expectation. As always, my expectations were too much for them but they assured they would provide the same offer 2nd company offered. And now i got a better offer and a better place also.

Today -
See how chaotic life is. But still i can see an order, the way things happened for a good cause.

paradox, that is.

You love me but you cant marry me. You love me but you cant come with me. You love me but you cant live with me. You love me but you cant guarantee that we will remain friends lifelong.

And you say you wanna see me happy all day everyday?

Photo Credit: Rick Sampson / Image

nOt fLaTtErY...

Hi,

Its been 6 years since we met. I still remember the first day i saw you. In that blue dress, you were looking like an angel. When i heard that you loved someone, i was jealous. I dint mean to say that it was love at first sight...but after many 'talks'. How many times have we met in these 6 years? 5 or 6 or max 10?

I dont know when did i start loving you. All i need in my life is you. I dont need something better or something worse. This is the only thing i pray to God. If you check my other blog, most of the posts are meant for you. I wanted you to read it, words from my heart.

I know its not gonna happen cuz we are from different religion. But is that my problem? Parents need someone who can take care of their daughter. Yes, they look for all kinda things which exist no where but only in Kerala. 40 years. I cant think of living with some one i rarely know. I dont wanna live with some girl. Its you i need. Not just any girl.

I'm offering 40 years of happiness and more if i live longer. I wont let you stay in a world where I'm not there. I'm sure we are gonna die together too. I wont leave you alone. No one has ever loved you the way i did. No one is loving you the way i do and no one will ever love you the way i will. I'm asking for a life.

Will you marry me?

PS: Straight from heart. The words may not be perfect. But hope you can understand what i meant. I'm even ready to repeat it till my last breath...

PPS: 101th post. New beginning. New post. New life. New love letter.

iTs yOu i nEeD...

Yes, I'm in Chennai. Got lot of beautiful girls around me. Ofcoz, some of them better than you in many ways. Some of them are worse.

But it's you I need. Not just a girl.

mY gOaT aNd hiS LiOn...

I was surprised to see a BMW M Series car parked in our car parking facility in our office. I dont have words to explain it. It was right beside my Honda Civic. Civic was much like a goat pleading for its life in front of a lion. OMG! I wanted to take a picture of it and put it here but by the time i took my mobile, i saw some ppl coming. I dint wanna take a risk. But the car was awesome. BMW has always been my Dream-Car. I always wanted to buy one and i strongly believe I will make enough money to get a BMW at the age of 40. I got 15 years to make 50 Lakhs. I will make it.

There were around 25 cars in our car parking facility. Even if one had owned all those, he can never feel proud of the one who owned a BMW. WoW! What-a-Car!

tHiS iS wOrTh 100tH pOsT...

[Harry Callahan has to explain why he shot a man]

Harry Callahan: Well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy.
The Mayor: Intent? How did you establish that?
Harry Callahan: When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross!
[walks out of the room]
The Mayor: He's got a point.
---
PS: I was wondering what would I possibly write, for this is my 100th post. I recently happened to see a movie - Dirty Harry! And the above conversation is from that movie. I felt this is worth posting it here. My 100th post! :D Let me enjoy it, making you laugh a bit...

nEw cUbicLe iS nOwHeRe nEaR gOoD...

I came to office late today. As usual. I had to attend a meeting online. I rushed towards my seat. I kept my bag aside and logged in. I was surprised for the login ID wasnt mine. i was like WHAt?!

"Hey, dont you know? Your place got shifted to there" my friend said pointing to a computer which was open to anyone who goes to the rest-room.

Even i had no idea of shifting the place and no one told me also about this. I was already late for the meeting. I spent 5 minutes to get my things shifted to the new place.

New place sucks! This is not at all good. All my friends are with their friends and I'm the only one to stay with a stranger. And the funny thing is I'm sitting next to an IT Admin guy. So that would mean that i CAN NOT take orkut illegally. That was my only time pass and ofcoz blogging. Even I'm not supposed to open Mozilla. The greatest concern is anyone can see my PC.

To make the things worse, employees from the other facility also shifted to here. And now when i go to the cafeteria, i feel it no different from a local railway station. People everywhere :(

i miss my old place.

yOu aRe wiTH mE...

I came near the window to hold your hands and i did. i wanted to run along when the train started. i wanted to run the whole way. i craned my neck to have a glimpse. i cried thinkin i cant see you again when i saw the train melted into the darkness. But then i noticed.

I can see you when i close my eyes.

i LoVe taLKinG tO yOu...

Lets say you are about to do something. Something which will give you immense happiness. Would you think of the price tag that comes along with it, if you know you can afford it? Hmm...there can be people who might think. But i dont.

I dont mind paying my whole salary as my telephone bill when i'm talkin to you, owner of the sweetest voice on the planet.

Photo Credit: Sudip Dutta / Image

55 fiCTioN #8

55 Fiction is a form of micro-fiction that refers to the works of fiction limited to a maximum of fifty-five words.

THE COMPASS

---
He came back home to see his wife.
He had gone for counseling.
'Mentally ill' his friends said.
He always doubts his wife..
'He is fine now' she thought

Night.
They came to bed, early
and then he heard it
somebody is outside the room,

He peeped out...glancing at his wife...in disbelief...
---
PS: I got this 'theme' from a movie :D

OkAy...aS yOu wiSH...

I enjoy myself when i keep saying it. Its the only sweetest thing i can ever think of. Its the best moments in my life. And now you want me to stop saying it. OK. I will stop bothering you.

After all, you cant stop me from thinking about it.

tHiS iS fOr yOu...

I dedicate a song for you.
I'm the score.
You are the lyrics.
I cant sing a better song.

rEtUrN oF tHe niNja cAt...

i love cats! :D

aNd i jUsT hUnG mY hEaRt...

i was so eager to plan about buying a car with my own money. i wanted to buy a Honda Jazz. And few days back i happened to see Volkswagen Ad in Times of India newspaper and i changed al my plans. i thought i will go for Volkswagen Beetle. i liked it so very much.

It is small, really small and the Ad said it's people's car. Wow! Perfect! i was so happy until i heard the price. You wouldnt believe just like i did. I can buy a Honda-Civic if i have that much :|

Its 15 Lakhs! (Please dont blame me if its not true)
:((

Photo Credit: B S K / Image

i dReAm oF a LiFe wiTH yOu...

I have told this many times. Maybe you got bored reading the same thing again and again. i tried to writing the same thing but in a different way. Yet, you dint understand. If i were to write a blog whenever i think about you, i would just be typing it over and over having no time to post it cuz i never stop thinking about you. i never stop dreaming about you...

aNd i'M aLoNe...

i had no best friends, much less friends, when i was born. i think i would have had my first friend when i was 4 years old. i got you as my friend when i was 19 years old. I had friends and name-sake-best-friends until i met you.

then i met you.

n now its time for us to stop.

i wont blame you or me or anyone. this is the way its happenin, since years. i wont be sad. i will live the way i lived those 15 years, years u weren't with me.

After all, i have to die alone. Everyone we meet in between is just an illusion. Its there, but yet its not there.

aNd tHeY aRe caLLed - iDLi...

i'm fed up of having idli. i kinda hate seeing that stupid round thingy around. i'm sick n i know i m not supposed to hav any oily food. But y keep reminding me tat m sick askin me to hav idli. Ayyyooooo...are there not any other food item non-oily other than idli?

My stomach is craving for somthin which is, for sure, not idli!

cAn wE mAkE a dEaL...?

i know its not gonna happen. Still i cant refrain myself from this. I just cant stop loving you. We cant be together for sure. I'm not afraid of death. We cant live together. But shall we die together?

hEaRt iS iNsiDe mY sToMaCh...

i have been sick very few times. Frankly, i don remember the days when i was sick, lying on bed, taking medication n stuffs like that. But now...hmmm...

i feel, i'm walking carrying a 50KG weight on my neck, unfortunately thats my head n i cant drop it. However i would consider rewarding the person who can cut my head off my neck. I feel something is being pumped directly to my head and i can feel the 'push'. I cant turn my head cuz i feel i will fall cuz of the weight.

Heart is inside my stomach. i can feel the heartbeat when i rub my hands over my tummy (especially belly-button). i think it will burst, though it wont show any signs of a 'high-pressure-balloon'. I can hardly type cuz its too cold in here. Every companies swtich off the AC for cost-cutting but my company does the opposite. FUCK THIS AC! :\

I got lots of work for 2moro n i dont think i can come to offis. But i gotta try. Do you have a cork? Please...i wanna cork my fuckin (read 'running') nose.

That's it! I'm fucked! Please pray for me! :)

iT's yOuR LiFe...

Its not your dad, mom or brother who is gonna live life with some stupid ass-hole for the next 50 years.

Its you! So, i think you have some rights to take decisions...

aLL i nEeD iS...

i dont wanna have something sweeter in my life. i just dont need it if something good is waiting for me. i dont wish for anything. i dont want anything in my life. All i need is what you have.

Your Ring-finger!

55 fiCTioN #7

55 Fiction is a form of micro-fiction that refers to the works of fiction limited to a maximum of fifty-five words.

Guess WHO?

---
The subject line read 'Guess Who?'.
She eagerly opened the email to see the picture of a very handsome guy. She found the pic so familiar though she couldn't identify.
YES! i got an idea! she thought

'Guess who?' she typed n searched in Google.
---
PS: This is a real story, happened in my office. khe khe khe...

iF tHaT, wHy nOt tHiS..?

Please dont say the reason 'You are my friend and i cant see you like 'that'...'. Please, Not again! If you can marry a total stranger, whom your parents find, Why not a good friend of yours whom you know for years?

piECe oF pApEr sCrUtiNy...

i resigned from my current company! Still the date is not confirmed. i'm not done struggling. Not yet!

i wanted to get relieved from my company ASAP. i talked to my managers and they simply said it is NOT possible. i was out of my mind those days. At last, they informed my last working day would be Dec 07 2009! My parents were worried too for the tension i was suffering. I dint wanna tell my parents a specific date as such cuz Dec 07 2009 was a tentative one.

My parents do believe in God and so they do believe in Horoscope / Star also. They took my horoscope to an astrologer. They might have said something. One day at night, Dad called me and told this to me. He said till Dec 7th i'm having a very bad time. i was like - WHAT?!' i told dad tat dec 7th will be my last working day.

i dono how to express my surprise in words. i dono if the piece of paper can be believed or not, but i was stunned. I'm not here to say that i became a strong believer of horoscope n i want you people also to believe it. I'm writing this post cuz i'm frightened. Whateva happened or whateva tats gonna happen (at least till Dec 7th) in my life is 80% accurate as written in tat paper.

The reason i'm panicking is, it is again written in my horoscope that i would (most likely) die at the age of 28 n if i survive that, i would live 79 years! I'm 25 now n i don mind dying at 28 rather than living till 79. khe khe khe... :P

PS: That wasnt funny. I started takin it seriously n i dono..if i need to believe it or not! :O

Photo Credit: Yarik Mishin / Image

tHiNk...pLeAsE...

U think what others will think, those who dont even think about U
And U dont think of wat i think, who always thinks about U
Why dont U think wat i would think if U think like this?

iT rAiNs wHeN i dOnT tAkE mY uMbReLLa...

It was kinda-heavily raining in some parts of Chennai for the past two days. Unfortunately, i stay in one of those 'some parts'.

Luck plays, as it always does, a very strange game with me. everyday morning before i start to offis, i take my umbrella assuming it would definitely rain. But it always doesn't rain when i take my umbrella.

Yesterday i dint take my umbrella for the climate was pleasant. At night, i was on the way back home from offis and i was carryin my offer-letter also. Suddenly it started raining and i panicked cuz i dint wanna see my offer-letter drenched. i got inside a shop. i somehow wanted to escape the rain. my two hands were engaged too. i started searchin for 'tools' which would help me n luckily i remembered my hanky. i sighed with relief. i took my hanky out and with great relief carefully covered my mobile and started walking in the rain. khe khe khe... :D

i dint care about my offer letter or anything for that matter. i always used to wonder why people are like this. i always valued wat i had in my hand or pocket or in my bag than myself. i dint care of 'me' gettin drenched but my mobile. This is not the first time. Even i hav noticed myself pulling up my sleeves when i go to a hotel to hav food. i dont bother my hands getting dirt than my shirt. Are all people like this or just me? i still wonder...

cOrPoRaTe viSiOn - vErY tRuE

This is what exactly happens in a corporate world. Top levels gets paid more for 'shitting' on bottom level guys.. :((

55 fiCTioN #6

55 Fiction is a form of micro-fiction that refers to the works of fiction limited to a maximum of fifty-five words.

DOUBT

---
'i need divorce' she said
'But why?' he said
'You doubt me as if i hav an affair with my best frnd.'
'i did, but not now. he is a very good person.'

later, she msged her friend
'Hey, lucky we! he has got no doubts on us...mwaah!'
---
PS: His wife is good or bad? What you think? ;)

i bEt yOu wOnT 4gEt tHaT dAy...

i did the maximum I can. i dont know what he actually wants from me. i dont know why is he doing this to me? Is it cuz i shouted at him? But i was right. He was getting on my nerve. i tried to be calm. I'm not his servant or this company's.
You can release me only if so-called-clients release me? Who are these clients? My Father? My Mother? Fuck You!

Committing to this fucking project doesnt mean that i shud work in this for the rest of my life. i have my own life to live on. its MY life. i'll decide whether to work or not. What if clients dint release me? I'll have to work here? HERE? FUCK! They just need to stupid resource to get their work done! They dont need ANOOP! They jus need a resource!

i'm done. i jus wanna get the hell outa here. U dont give a salary hike or a designation hike but you want me to fuckin work? FUCK YOU!

You are on the verge of ruining my life! I'm just waiting for my relieving letter and you wont forget that day!

55 fiCTioN #5

55 Fiction is a form of micro-fiction that refers to the works of fiction limited to a maximum of fifty-five words.

THE PSYCHO

---
The scream pierced her ears.
What's happening? she thought

In the other room she saw her husband dead.
Frightened, she began to search the cupborad for the gun. It was missing.
Seeing a figure, running towards her, she shudderred.

'Mummyyyy, I KILLED HIM!' she screamed, hugging her mom tight.
---
PS: I recently read an article featuring a psychopath-father molesting his own daughter. This post is dedicated to that f*cking-psycho-father.

i'M nOt aShAmEd tO sAy tHiS...

i was on my way back to Chennai from Cochin. i had to come by flight cuz my flight was official and i showed no mercy towards my company. i wanted to go by flight and i gave them no choice. khe khe khe... ;)

i was stunned by the astonishing view from the plane. i almost saw the whole of Cochin, i must say. this was the first time i was on a flight on a day-time. i was always looking thru the window n i started waving my hands lookin thru the window. The girl who was sitting beside me was surprised. She asked me y was i waving my hands. i dint reply. i jus smiled.

i still remember, when i was a kid, i used to hide under my cot when i hear the sound of an air-craft. i felt it is somethin so dangerous n i neva used to come out. One day my mom asked me not to be frightened of the heavy sound and she took me to the play-ground nearby. She looked up at the sky and showed me the small plane among the clouds.

She told me the plane is making such noise to make you wave him good-bye. There are people on the plane and they are waving at us. Then she asked me to wave at the plane whenever i saw one for someone inside the plane is always waiting for my 'bye's. It made me so happy n from then i became courage, courage enough to wave good-bye :P

I'm 25 years old. i'm not ashamed to say that i still wave my hands when i see aeroplanes or if i'm inside the aircraft. i always did and i always will.