no comments.

Now that I know why do people write blogs, my next concern is why do people comment/follow blogs.

I have no idea how a girl behaves when she sees a new blog. But I do know something.

1. Girls like to be 'commented', though they don't comment.
2. They comment because you commented. Tit-for-Tat.
3. They dont comment. They update their blog, saying they were busy doing something more important and would comment soon (before world ends).
4. They comment because there are nice girls too.
5. They comment. Exploiting Tit-for-Tat.
6. They do comment/follow, if its worth doing.
7. Are you a frequent commenter on my blog?

Now, guys are so generous, you see. They comment and follow most of the blogs. Just for 2 simple reasons.

1. The blog is just amazing.
2. The blog author is a girl.
   

PS: This is meant to be a partially-funny-partially-true post. No offense, please.

Photo Credit: Miamiamia / Image

i wanna make a lot of money.

My life-time ambition is to buy a BMW 5 Series car at the age of 40. Now I'm 26 years old. When I think of next 14 years, I'm almost sure that I cant make 45 lakhs.

There are a lot of ways to make money.
1. Steal - illegal and easiest way
2. Inheritance - you are lucky
3. Dowry - this is the best way. No risk ;)
4. Business - you need some guts
5. Investments like Mutual Funds, Fixed Deposits etc - bravo!
6. Share trading - super-bravo ;) like me... :D

Share Trading is my favorite. I've been trading for quite sometime now. I can feel its the most reliable investment plan. I can say that because I know how it works. For those who think investing in shares is 'gambling', they are FOOLS. It is like pronouncing SAP (software company) as 'Saap'. It is S-A-P.

If you know about some good companies, if you are not greedy, if you have some ample money to invest, I would say share trading is the best investment. If you invest more money, you can make more profit. If you invest less money, you can make less profit.

I know about a few shares where you can invest blindly and make profit out of it. I'm not going to say which share, though. I've done a lot of research about those companies and I worked out a strategy, which is, 5 lacs, 5 years, 100 transactions and you can make 75 lacs out of it. You may feel I'm bluffing. No, I'm not. You can make even more.

But you got to find the right stock and invest at the right time.

photographers suck.

I don't usually attend marriages or some functions where people gather around, shoot questions, pull legs and things of that sort. I don't like going to temples also. Not because I hate Gods, but I hate crowd. I'm sick of it.

I have got reasons for hating marriage functions. I hate people who just come to 'EAT'. However, there are situations where you can't skip a function like that. For example, your own marriage. You cant let someone else take your place for the reason that you hate crowds.

Lately, I attended one of my cousin's marriage. And now I bagged one more reason. And that would be Photographers! Fuck them, you see. They don't let people see the ceremony. Below is a picture I took. Tell me if you can actually see the couples other than some stupid people holding their cameras? (Oops. I understand you can only see some people standing on the stage. Sorry, I had it exaggerated :D)


Click image to enlarge

I decided. I wont let even a single cameraman inside, for my marriage (Of course if I happen to marry). I will ask my cousins to take some snaps. After all what are we going to do with the albums spending thousands?

Do I have a point, dears?

extremely useless finding.

I play cards (Microsoft Games to be exact :D) when I don't have work at office. So I've been playing this game for quite sometime. And I happened to notice something. Please don't kill me after reading this. Okay. I warn you, this is extremely useless information and not worth reading it. Seriously!

Okay. So you still want to read. I like that. Have you played MS game Solitaire? Have you ever noticed what happens when you win the game? The cards which you have arranged on their respective slots would jump out and make some nice (or weird?) design. This actually is a slow process. I mean card jumps out slow and moves away. (Please see the image for better understanding)

Now, what on earth is my 'finding'? Here it is. As I said earlier, the card moves slow. But, if you keep moving your mouse so fast, the card-motion becomes fast too. That's the information I would like to 'announce'. khe khe khe...

PS: I was striving for some topic to write on my blog. And God heard my prayers and made me move my mouse fast when I won the game. And I happened to make the most amazing discovery of all times.

the lazy me.

Will someone believe if I tell you that whatever I have written in this blog were just stories and not even a word were true? No. Nobody will trust that. But I'm in a situation to hide my blog. I wish if my blog went invisible. khe khe khe...

Dont be afraid, OK? I'm not into any terrorism or something like that. Say around a year back, one of my friend's marriage got dropped just cuz of a scrap from one of her friend. I was wondering what was there in that scrap for that matter? Hmmm.. whatever!

I'm in Bengaluru now. I dont get to update my blogs very often. I must say I'm least interested to write blogs these days. No much of work in office. Its the same since 3 yrs. I'm way too lazy than I were 3 yrs before.

Okay. Blog updated. My laziness is working. Let me stop. Would come up with some interesting topic soon. Meanwhile please pray for my blog to turn invisible before 'she' see this. khe khe khe.. I must be so courageous to write like this in here. Maybe after a year or so, I would be the one again updating my blog saying about the fights I had with her cuz of my blog. ;)

Photo Credit: C O / Image

where the heck is venus?

'Venus is in 7th column. Sun is in 4th column and Jupiter is in the 9th column. See, 1st column, 2nd column and these columns are all left blank. No...We cant take this horoscope, no matter how good the girl is!' they exclaimed.

I'm sure by the time I get married, I will get to learn astrology. Now I can understand how our great-elders talk astrology when it comes to a marriage. I'm surprised when I find myself looking at the horoscopes and checking for 'paapam' (technical words - cant help it :D).

I don't understand how these planets, so very millions of kilometers away from earth, affect a living being living on earth. Worst case - how it affects only those who live in India? :O

'Why are you in such a hurry to get married, Son? You will regret once you get married.' my father said winking at me and giving a I-dint-say-anything look at mom.

As a matter of fact, I'm not in a hurry to get married. I'm just 26. But I get fed up when they look at these horoscopes and reject saying Venus is in the 7th / 8th column (Chovva Dosham - technical term :D). Chovva Dosham is known to be the worst of all Doshams - God-knows-what! I keep looking for Venus when I find a horoscope. Isn't that funny? :D

I tell you, if you people go for horoscope-match, only 1 in 200 will suit yours. :P Better you find one for yourself and elope! khe khe khe...

Photo Credit: Fabian Lehner / Image

some company-policies suck.

Formal dress from Monday to Thursday. Business Casuals on Friday. This is the dress-code most of the companies follow. And so do my company also. Business Casuals doesn't include round-necks. I dint know that. In fact, I dint know the one I wore was a round-neck. As you may see in the picture, the t-shirt is not having a collar. But I 'thought' still it wasn't a round-neck :((

I got inside the company as usual. Company has hired security-personnel and they do intense scrutiny to check if the employees are following the dress-f*ckin-code. Securities are there everywhere, near the lift, near the staircase, near each and every door entrance. I crossed the main entrance and nobody stopped me. I wasn't lucky enough for long. The security on the 2nd floor caught me and he called another guy who was on the first floor. He also did a thorough check-up just like a bomb-squad does. Security-head asked me to go change the dress. F*CK!

I thought of 'half-a-kilometer walk in the hot sun' to go back to my room and change. I had to do it. They made me do it.

so, will that help?

One of my colleague is gonna get married. Today he came to me and asked for my help.

'I don't know how to talk to girls. And I need your advice. I know you are an expert.' He said.

I was shocked to hear that. But I dint show it. ;) khe khe khe... Ok. Jokes apart. He explained the situation. He phoned his girl few days back and his call was on waiting. He tried to call her 2-3 times. But still it was on waiting and she dint bother to cut it and call him back. He, obviously, got tensed. After sometime she called him but he refused to answer. She kept calling for sometime and finally he answered.

SPLASH! THAMAAAR!! BANG!!! *he shouts, she cries blah blah blah...*

So, this is a problem with guys mainly. They get possessive very soon. In fact, guys fall in love very soon. And for that reason, they get possessive. I guess girls do like it, thought they wont expect guys to shout at them. I told this to my friend. His facial expressions clearly said he dint understand a word! I made it simple.

'Next time when you see her number busy, just tell her that her voice is so cute and he don't want others to hear her sweet voice.' I said.

PS: I've a best friend. One day she will also get married. So what if her guy asks her not to talk to me saying the same dialogue, maybe after reading my blog :O I cant stand that. Now the question is, will I ask my girl not to talk to others??? :D

PPS: I'm wondering why the hell he said I'm an expert in talking to girls. Seriously! :O :D And sorry if you people think the title, picture and the blog-post are no way related to each other (on earth) :D

Photo Credit: Roman Balog / Image

hope this idea will work :D

Me: OK. Hi... My name is Anoop. I've been watching you since last...hmmm I dono. You know, you look beautiful and maybe that's the reason I got attracted to you. I don't wanna take risk loving you just cuz you are beautiful. On the other hand I don't wanna lose you also for maybe you are good at heart too. I hope you are not committed. I wont be in this company for long. My last date here is April 16. So don't fear that I would be following you all the time. I wont ask your mobile number also. You can just drop the idea if you feel I'm not lucky enough to be your friend. So, can we be friends?

Girl: Oh my God! Who are you?!

Me: Sorry, I dint mean to give a shock or make this conversation this lengthy. I dint rehearse this and this is my first time.

Girl: Hmmm... What's your....?

Me: Wow! Thanks! My ID is 2*4*4*!

PS: This is a complete fiction. I saw this girl in the cafeteria and I was just dreaming how it would be if I just give her a shock like that. :D Will she respond the way that girl did in my dream? :P

PPS: Thanks to MS Office Communicator. Employees across the company can chat each other using their employee ID.

this thing filters my sleep.

I hope you people can see the 'electric-plug' and an 'electric-switch' in the picture. That's the water filter fitted next to my room. For obvious reasons, I cant blame those who think that the 'switch' is for the water-filter. At first, I also felt the same.

But actually, that's for my calling-bell. So when people come to get water, press the switch thinking that the filter is switched off. There are people who come and carry water at night also. And now I can tell you how many new people take a room in my floor for that's the only water filter in my floor :| I even have a count of how many of them take water at night.

I wanted to make some marking on the switch to let people know the switch is for my calling-bell. Cuz sometimes it spoils my sleep too. I can afford taking my life, but not my sleep. Now, I'm used to it. I wait for sometime to hear the next bell. I want to make sure that there are people outside wanting to see me. :D

PS: I wanted to write this post long back. But everyday morning I will forget to take the picture but today I kept a reminder :D

my first encounter with a camera.

I do remember the first time I held a camera for I still carry a token which reminds me of that incident in this entire life.

I was studying in 6th standard then. My parents were decorating our new home. I was kinda busy deciding which would be my bedroom. One of my relative was busy clicking his camera. I was so happy to see a camera so close when he asked me to take care of the camera for a while. I decided to click my own photo and took the camera. I held camera so close facing me. Maybe around 10cms away from my eyes? I dont know.

CLICK!

OMG! I dont know how I managed not to panic. Me eyes were burning. The flash from the camera made me blind for about 15mins. I saw nothing around me other than a bright orange light. I got so tensed and I started to believe that I lost my eye sight. I dint tell anyone about the incident. I was begging God to return my vision and at last He did.

Maybe, for that brave-act, I still wear a specs?!

good things happen to good people.

I always pray to God for a life with you.
I always pray to God for you to be happy in your life.

But, are they contradictory?

Photo Credit: Charlie Balch / Image

they just vanish. gone. kaput.

Parents search for good alliances for their sons or daughters. To make the process easy, sons and daughters love someone and introduce them to their parents. So far so good.

Parents take this to the next level. They inform the news to their relatives. Phones start ringing. Some vessels break. They shout. They say the guy is not lookin good. He is having specs. She is not having long hair. She dont wake up early in the morning etc etc etc...

They make the slightest of problems very big. We are forced to agree what they say. Parents are happy, relatives are happy. They make us spends lakhs of rupees on the wedding day. They invite 100s of people. 30k worth photo albums, 10k worth DVDs blah blah blah... They are good at giving ultra superb ideas on how to be expensive but they dont care helping. At last parents spend minimum of 8-10 lakhs for the marriage.

After the marriage, guy and gal will spend 70% of the salary to repay the loan they borrowed from the bank. 70% of their time they spend fighting. They never care to see the DVD or the photo album worth 30k. They curse the day they got married. Parents see their 10lakhs rupees going in vain.

Now, where are these so-called-relatives? They just vanish. Gone. Kaput. They were in front to give comments, to talk against love marriage, to tell them how to show-off during marriage, to eat a lot.

What's the verdict? Promote love marriage. Khe khe khe... Marry someone you love, not the ones your parents or your love. Dont spend money for marriage. Do register-marriage :P Anyway, you are gonna blame that day. So why spending money for it? Dont expect anythin from your relatives.

Photo Credit: Konrad Mostert / Image

a beggar of me.

Few days back, when I was going back to Coimbatore from Cochin, I met a girl. To be frank, I noticed her cuz she was looking beautiful (but tensed?). She asked me if the bus was going to Coimbatore. I nodded yes. After few minutes she came to me again and said if she can borrow 50 bucks.

I was like, WHAT?! Her looks were charming and English fluent. I never expected her to ask for money. That reminded me of a situation, a situation which you may face any time.

Once me and my friends planned to go watch Thrissur Pooram. Its a very famous Pooram (English word? God knows what :D) in Kerala. We first went to my friend's home. Kept our things there and started for the amazing event. I dint forget to take the camera to click some snaps of the most anticipated fireworks. There can be lakhs of people to watch this and we dont know what types of people would be there. I dint take my wallet for that reason. We boarded the bus.

I was stunned to see the crowd for it was an ocean. we took each others hands for not to lose any in the crowd. But the knot dint last long. We got separated. I dint know where I was or where to go. I had no money also. All I knew was, the bus-ticket fare from my friend's house to this place was Rs.4.50. I dint even know the name of the place. I roamed here and there for hours and at last I decided. To Beg! OMG!

You will never know how the situation can change you, no matter how you look. It can squeeze the hell outa you. I had no choice then. I had to beg. I dint know whom to ask money. All I needed was 5 rupees. I asked some old people to work out their sympathy but they just gave me a weird look. 'Who is this stupid, asking for 5 rupees with a Nikon camera in his hand?'

I then aimed for people of my age-group. They could understand me better, I thought. At last I had to explain the full situation for one guy to give me 5 rupees. I dont have words to explain how happy I felt. I ran to the nearest bus stand and got into a bus. I gave tat money to the conductor and told him 'I have to go to my friend's place and that place is Rs.4.5 away from here'. Everyone in the bus were staring at me.

PS: I gave her Rs.50 and I smiled. I could see a smile on her face, the same smile which went thru my lips 6 years back.

PPS: BTW, I still have the balance precious-50-paise coin in my wallet.

Photo Credit: Rotorhead / Image

my strange haircut.

I went to the barber shop and asked them to cut it short, too very short. They gave me a strange look. i dint bother. i just somehow wanted to get rid of my hair. I got surprised seeing myself in the mirror. I was like who-is-this? khe khe khe...

I went to the photo studio to take my passport size foto, for i gotto submit tat during the time of joining. I went there and ordered for 20 copies. They asked me to look at the foto n check if wat i asked them to print is right or wrong. I pointed to the file BX-44 and asked them to take prints of 'that'.
'Who is this?' the keeper asked me.
i gave him a strange look. 'Its me' i said. hmmm... embarrassing situation.

Same thing happened again. i went to the company to join there. i went there and they gave me the forms that must be filled on the DOJ. They asked me my photo copies and i gave them too. After sometime, senior HR executive called me up to his cabin and asked me my DOB, father's name mother's name, PAN card number and all those to check if i'm the real ME. khe khe khe.. it took me sometime to make them believe that it was really ME. :((

aNd i jUsT hUnG mY hEaRt...

i was so eager to plan about buying a car with my own money. i wanted to buy a Honda Jazz. And few days back i happened to see Volkswagen Ad in Times of India newspaper and i changed al my plans. i thought i will go for Volkswagen Beetle. i liked it so very much.

It is small, really small and the Ad said it's people's car. Wow! Perfect! i was so happy until i heard the price. You wouldnt believe just like i did. I can buy a Honda-Civic if i have that much :|

Its 15 Lakhs! (Please dont blame me if its not true)
:((

Photo Credit: B S K / Image

55 fiCTioN #7

55 Fiction is a form of micro-fiction that refers to the works of fiction limited to a maximum of fifty-five words.

Guess WHO?

---
The subject line read 'Guess Who?'.
She eagerly opened the email to see the picture of a very handsome guy. She found the pic so familiar though she couldn't identify.
YES! i got an idea! she thought

'Guess who?' she typed n searched in Google.
---
PS: This is a real story, happened in my office. khe khe khe...

piECe oF pApEr sCrUtiNy...

i resigned from my current company! Still the date is not confirmed. i'm not done struggling. Not yet!

i wanted to get relieved from my company ASAP. i talked to my managers and they simply said it is NOT possible. i was out of my mind those days. At last, they informed my last working day would be Dec 07 2009! My parents were worried too for the tension i was suffering. I dint wanna tell my parents a specific date as such cuz Dec 07 2009 was a tentative one.

My parents do believe in God and so they do believe in Horoscope / Star also. They took my horoscope to an astrologer. They might have said something. One day at night, Dad called me and told this to me. He said till Dec 7th i'm having a very bad time. i was like - WHAT?!' i told dad tat dec 7th will be my last working day.

i dono how to express my surprise in words. i dono if the piece of paper can be believed or not, but i was stunned. I'm not here to say that i became a strong believer of horoscope n i want you people also to believe it. I'm writing this post cuz i'm frightened. Whateva happened or whateva tats gonna happen (at least till Dec 7th) in my life is 80% accurate as written in tat paper.

The reason i'm panicking is, it is again written in my horoscope that i would (most likely) die at the age of 28 n if i survive that, i would live 79 years! I'm 25 now n i don mind dying at 28 rather than living till 79. khe khe khe... :P

PS: That wasnt funny. I started takin it seriously n i dono..if i need to believe it or not! :O

Photo Credit: Yarik Mishin / Image

iT rAiNs wHeN i dOnT tAkE mY uMbReLLa...

It was kinda-heavily raining in some parts of Chennai for the past two days. Unfortunately, i stay in one of those 'some parts'.

Luck plays, as it always does, a very strange game with me. everyday morning before i start to offis, i take my umbrella assuming it would definitely rain. But it always doesn't rain when i take my umbrella.

Yesterday i dint take my umbrella for the climate was pleasant. At night, i was on the way back home from offis and i was carryin my offer-letter also. Suddenly it started raining and i panicked cuz i dint wanna see my offer-letter drenched. i got inside a shop. i somehow wanted to escape the rain. my two hands were engaged too. i started searchin for 'tools' which would help me n luckily i remembered my hanky. i sighed with relief. i took my hanky out and with great relief carefully covered my mobile and started walking in the rain. khe khe khe... :D

i dint care about my offer letter or anything for that matter. i always used to wonder why people are like this. i always valued wat i had in my hand or pocket or in my bag than myself. i dint care of 'me' gettin drenched but my mobile. This is not the first time. Even i hav noticed myself pulling up my sleeves when i go to a hotel to hav food. i dont bother my hands getting dirt than my shirt. Are all people like this or just me? i still wonder...

aNoThEr rEcEnT fiNDinG...

Guys always feel their girl-friend (read lover, please) is the sexiest gal on the planet!

PS: Please feel free to read my other obviously-great findings here and here! khe khe khe...

Photo Credit: Jeroen van de Sande / Image