even i can write stories.

OK. Let me confess the fact that this post is a fiction.

I was getting so bored one day when I was sitting in the office – no work to do, yet a critical resource. I thought I’ll make some friends. I’ve an option to use some ‘Happy Hours’ in my office where I get to access commercial websites.

And then, I found this girl to chat with. I first sent a very casual email though I never expected a reply. Girls don’t reply to emails from strangers, you see. And then, just like I said, there was no reply. You know how guys behave when they find a girl. I sent another email, this time apologizing. Nope, she didn’t fall for that too. I underestimated this girl. I sent another email saying – even your best friends were strangers to you some day, just like I’m now.

I got a reply. And I replied and she replied and I replied and it went on and on. The first day we exchanged 28 emails. I didn’t have any bad intentions though. I knew she didn’t trust me enough as you can’t trust anyone online. Emails became continuous and then I invited her to chat. She accepted and then we chatted for hours and hours everyday. One day, I asked her mobile number and never expected she would respond the way she did. After all, it’s just a number. But it’s her mobile number. I wanted to talk to her. Desperately. I found a work-around. I gave her my number.

She got busy and we didn’t chat for a few days. One day I got a text message from an unknown number saying it was her number and she would come online after sometime. I suddenly replied saying ‘Now you trust me enough to share your mobile number, huh?’

Okay. Now, that was the start. We stopped chatting and started messaging. And then we talked. I wanted more. I wanted her to sing and she did. See, human beings are desperate. They are not happy with what they already have. Now that I got her number, I wanted to see her. And then I saw her, she saw me and blah blah blah...

I’m a dumbass when it comes to ‘flirting’. I didn’t mean to say she was an expert but we got close enough to compliment each other saying about our good qualities (if that can be called flirting). We were getting closer day by day. We wanted to chat always. I wanted her to keep in touch with me thru messages. Chatting, telephoning, emailing, flirting, possessiveness, love, like, this that… Just like you can imagine how couples would be.

But no, we haven’t proposed each other yet but we were sure that we loved each other. At least we don’t mind loving each other if not we haven’t loved each other as yet. I happened to be one of the good guys she happened to meet and after 89 thoughtful days she decided to say it first.

‘Hey, I want to tell you something so very important.’ She said.
‘What?’ I enquired.
‘Marry Me.’
‘WHAT?’ I was shocked.
‘I mean, listen to that song. It’s nice!’

PS: So, I had nothing to do for the whole day at office and the idea of making a new friend, messaging, talking, flirting tempted me to write this post. :D

time less (on) tuesday.

Oops. No time to write.

PS: I used to wonder 'what the hell is that all about?' when I see posts like 'Wordless Wednesday', 'Thursday Challenge' and all that. I thought I would start something new. Time less (on) Tuesday!

PPS: This post is meant to be funny. OMG! No time. Bye.

no comments.

Now that I know why do people write blogs, my next concern is why do people comment/follow blogs.

I have no idea how a girl behaves when she sees a new blog. But I do know something.

1. Girls like to be 'commented', though they don't comment.
2. They comment because you commented. Tit-for-Tat.
3. They dont comment. They update their blog, saying they were busy doing something more important and would comment soon (before world ends).
4. They comment because there are nice girls too.
5. They comment. Exploiting Tit-for-Tat.
6. They do comment/follow, if its worth doing.
7. Are you a frequent commenter on my blog?

Now, guys are so generous, you see. They comment and follow most of the blogs. Just for 2 simple reasons.

1. The blog is just amazing.
2. The blog author is a girl.
   

PS: This is meant to be a partially-funny-partially-true post. No offense, please.

Photo Credit: Miamiamia / Image

extremely useless finding.

I play cards (Microsoft Games to be exact :D) when I don't have work at office. So I've been playing this game for quite sometime. And I happened to notice something. Please don't kill me after reading this. Okay. I warn you, this is extremely useless information and not worth reading it. Seriously!

Okay. So you still want to read. I like that. Have you played MS game Solitaire? Have you ever noticed what happens when you win the game? The cards which you have arranged on their respective slots would jump out and make some nice (or weird?) design. This actually is a slow process. I mean card jumps out slow and moves away. (Please see the image for better understanding)

Now, what on earth is my 'finding'? Here it is. As I said earlier, the card moves slow. But, if you keep moving your mouse so fast, the card-motion becomes fast too. That's the information I would like to 'announce'. khe khe khe...

PS: I was striving for some topic to write on my blog. And God heard my prayers and made me move my mouse fast when I won the game. And I happened to make the most amazing discovery of all times.

the lazy me.

Will someone believe if I tell you that whatever I have written in this blog were just stories and not even a word were true? No. Nobody will trust that. But I'm in a situation to hide my blog. I wish if my blog went invisible. khe khe khe...

Dont be afraid, OK? I'm not into any terrorism or something like that. Say around a year back, one of my friend's marriage got dropped just cuz of a scrap from one of her friend. I was wondering what was there in that scrap for that matter? Hmmm.. whatever!

I'm in Bengaluru now. I dont get to update my blogs very often. I must say I'm least interested to write blogs these days. No much of work in office. Its the same since 3 yrs. I'm way too lazy than I were 3 yrs before.

Okay. Blog updated. My laziness is working. Let me stop. Would come up with some interesting topic soon. Meanwhile please pray for my blog to turn invisible before 'she' see this. khe khe khe.. I must be so courageous to write like this in here. Maybe after a year or so, I would be the one again updating my blog saying about the fights I had with her cuz of my blog. ;)

Photo Credit: C O / Image

this thing filters my sleep.

I hope you people can see the 'electric-plug' and an 'electric-switch' in the picture. That's the water filter fitted next to my room. For obvious reasons, I cant blame those who think that the 'switch' is for the water-filter. At first, I also felt the same.

But actually, that's for my calling-bell. So when people come to get water, press the switch thinking that the filter is switched off. There are people who come and carry water at night also. And now I can tell you how many new people take a room in my floor for that's the only water filter in my floor :| I even have a count of how many of them take water at night.

I wanted to make some marking on the switch to let people know the switch is for my calling-bell. Cuz sometimes it spoils my sleep too. I can afford taking my life, but not my sleep. Now, I'm used to it. I wait for sometime to hear the next bell. I want to make sure that there are people outside wanting to see me. :D

PS: I wanted to write this post long back. But everyday morning I will forget to take the picture but today I kept a reminder :D

choose wisely. live well :P

This is not 'Tele-Brands Advertisements' Okay! :D

I was having food in the cafeteria in the evening. One of my friend was saying his story of fighting with his girl-friend. Fight started with a 'photo'. This guy asked his girl to send her photo so that he can see her anytime. She refused.

'Why? I'm not gonna rape your photo!'. He said, proudly :P

Wow! What-a-dialog! Obviously no man on the planet can 'rape' a 'photo'. But the word 'rape' is the problem now. He just wanted to say something for the sake of saying something. But I guess that word is not there in her dictionary (should have checked it before buying it :D). She shouted at him and cut the call.

'Gals are dumb!' I exclaimed! But I knew what she said is also a point. Gals are sensitive to words. But its hard to guess which are those words.

Another friends who dint have a chance to speak yet came up. 'Choose words wisely. Once said, it cant be taken back.' He said.

I thought and thought and thought and said, 'So is a missed-call :P'. khe khe khe...

are all girls like this? part 5!

[ Pre-Script: So, here I'm, after long time, to write a post about gals. Are all girls like this? Part 5! ]

One of my friend got hospitalized recently. She had viral fever and doctor kept her under observation for more than a day. She dint happen to know this before hand and for that reason, she hadnt taken her dresses. I phoned her that day and she told me what happened. I got tensed at first when she said she got admitted in the hospital. Thank God, it wasnt serious. She told me that her dad brought some of her dresses from home.

Next day I called her up again. I was shocked to hear the reason she told me for not wearing the dress her dad brought from home.

'The 'top' and 'bottom' (of the dress) which he took doesnt match.'

I was like WHAT?! She was admitted in the hospital for treatment for viral fever. Not for fashion show. I dont know. Wont gals leave being fashionable at least when they are sick? Are all girls like this? :O :P

PS: I dint mean to hurt my friend or any other gal by this post. I just felt it interesting and I asked her permission before I wrote this here.

PPS: For those who missed the predecessors, here you go. Part1, Part2, Part3 and Part4.

genuinely insane self.

I was very much fond of playing cricket when I was young. I liked wicket-keeping though I was not a good keeper. To add strength to that statement, one day, the ball hit my nose. I was continuously sneezing for about half hour.

I got so tired sneezing and went home at last. I just stared into the mirror and was shocked by the irregularities. khe khe khe... I saw a bent-nose. OMG! It was not actually bent, but I pressed my nose to feel the bone and I felt a difference. I dint want my parents to find this out and desperately wanted to hide my bent-but-not-yet-bent-nose.

IDEA! I took a small hammer!

I wanted some place to support my nose so that I can pat on my nose and make it straight. I thought a lot and at last I laid my eyes on the teapoy. I went near it and placed my face on the teapoy so that my nose is the only part on it. I took the hammer. I swear, I would have been a fool then (even now I'm, to post it here and get embarrasses :D).

I shot two small pats on my nose and checked if it straightened. No! Okay. I held my breath and gave a strong-enough-to-break-my-nose-bone pat. OMG! I was startled to see the blood flowing thru my nose.

PS: Please dont try this at home. Khe khe khe... :D

my first encounter with a camera.

I do remember the first time I held a camera for I still carry a token which reminds me of that incident in this entire life.

I was studying in 6th standard then. My parents were decorating our new home. I was kinda busy deciding which would be my bedroom. One of my relative was busy clicking his camera. I was so happy to see a camera so close when he asked me to take care of the camera for a while. I decided to click my own photo and took the camera. I held camera so close facing me. Maybe around 10cms away from my eyes? I dont know.

CLICK!

OMG! I dont know how I managed not to panic. Me eyes were burning. The flash from the camera made me blind for about 15mins. I saw nothing around me other than a bright orange light. I got so tensed and I started to believe that I lost my eye sight. I dint tell anyone about the incident. I was begging God to return my vision and at last He did.

Maybe, for that brave-act, I still wear a specs?!

they just vanish. gone. kaput.

Parents search for good alliances for their sons or daughters. To make the process easy, sons and daughters love someone and introduce them to their parents. So far so good.

Parents take this to the next level. They inform the news to their relatives. Phones start ringing. Some vessels break. They shout. They say the guy is not lookin good. He is having specs. She is not having long hair. She dont wake up early in the morning etc etc etc...

They make the slightest of problems very big. We are forced to agree what they say. Parents are happy, relatives are happy. They make us spends lakhs of rupees on the wedding day. They invite 100s of people. 30k worth photo albums, 10k worth DVDs blah blah blah... They are good at giving ultra superb ideas on how to be expensive but they dont care helping. At last parents spend minimum of 8-10 lakhs for the marriage.

After the marriage, guy and gal will spend 70% of the salary to repay the loan they borrowed from the bank. 70% of their time they spend fighting. They never care to see the DVD or the photo album worth 30k. They curse the day they got married. Parents see their 10lakhs rupees going in vain.

Now, where are these so-called-relatives? They just vanish. Gone. Kaput. They were in front to give comments, to talk against love marriage, to tell them how to show-off during marriage, to eat a lot.

What's the verdict? Promote love marriage. Khe khe khe... Marry someone you love, not the ones your parents or your love. Dont spend money for marriage. Do register-marriage :P Anyway, you are gonna blame that day. So why spending money for it? Dont expect anythin from your relatives.

Photo Credit: Konrad Mostert / Image

my strange haircut.

I went to the barber shop and asked them to cut it short, too very short. They gave me a strange look. i dint bother. i just somehow wanted to get rid of my hair. I got surprised seeing myself in the mirror. I was like who-is-this? khe khe khe...

I went to the photo studio to take my passport size foto, for i gotto submit tat during the time of joining. I went there and ordered for 20 copies. They asked me to look at the foto n check if wat i asked them to print is right or wrong. I pointed to the file BX-44 and asked them to take prints of 'that'.
'Who is this?' the keeper asked me.
i gave him a strange look. 'Its me' i said. hmmm... embarrassing situation.

Same thing happened again. i went to the company to join there. i went there and they gave me the forms that must be filled on the DOJ. They asked me my photo copies and i gave them too. After sometime, senior HR executive called me up to his cabin and asked me my DOB, father's name mother's name, PAN card number and all those to check if i'm the real ME. khe khe khe.. it took me sometime to make them believe that it was really ME. :((

tHiS iS wOrTh 100tH pOsT...

[Harry Callahan has to explain why he shot a man]

Harry Callahan: Well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy.
The Mayor: Intent? How did you establish that?
Harry Callahan: When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross!
[walks out of the room]
The Mayor: He's got a point.
---
PS: I was wondering what would I possibly write, for this is my 100th post. I recently happened to see a movie - Dirty Harry! And the above conversation is from that movie. I felt this is worth posting it here. My 100th post! :D Let me enjoy it, making you laugh a bit...

55 fiCTioN #7

55 Fiction is a form of micro-fiction that refers to the works of fiction limited to a maximum of fifty-five words.

Guess WHO?

---
The subject line read 'Guess Who?'.
She eagerly opened the email to see the picture of a very handsome guy. She found the pic so familiar though she couldn't identify.
YES! i got an idea! she thought

'Guess who?' she typed n searched in Google.
---
PS: This is a real story, happened in my office. khe khe khe...

piECe oF pApEr sCrUtiNy...

i resigned from my current company! Still the date is not confirmed. i'm not done struggling. Not yet!

i wanted to get relieved from my company ASAP. i talked to my managers and they simply said it is NOT possible. i was out of my mind those days. At last, they informed my last working day would be Dec 07 2009! My parents were worried too for the tension i was suffering. I dint wanna tell my parents a specific date as such cuz Dec 07 2009 was a tentative one.

My parents do believe in God and so they do believe in Horoscope / Star also. They took my horoscope to an astrologer. They might have said something. One day at night, Dad called me and told this to me. He said till Dec 7th i'm having a very bad time. i was like - WHAT?!' i told dad tat dec 7th will be my last working day.

i dono how to express my surprise in words. i dono if the piece of paper can be believed or not, but i was stunned. I'm not here to say that i became a strong believer of horoscope n i want you people also to believe it. I'm writing this post cuz i'm frightened. Whateva happened or whateva tats gonna happen (at least till Dec 7th) in my life is 80% accurate as written in tat paper.

The reason i'm panicking is, it is again written in my horoscope that i would (most likely) die at the age of 28 n if i survive that, i would live 79 years! I'm 25 now n i don mind dying at 28 rather than living till 79. khe khe khe... :P

PS: That wasnt funny. I started takin it seriously n i dono..if i need to believe it or not! :O

Photo Credit: Yarik Mishin / Image

cOrPoRaTe viSiOn - vErY tRuE

This is what exactly happens in a corporate world. Top levels gets paid more for 'shitting' on bottom level guys.. :((

aRe aLL gUyS liKE tHiS? part 2

i found some very interesting blogs recently. i was surprised to know the fact. Is it somethin like a Blog-House-Effect like Green-House-Effect?

I read a very good blog n 'HE' has a very good reputation when it comes to bloggin. He started bloggin 3 years back n he had only less than 25 followers. At the same time, i came across another blog n 'SHE' started bloogin a few months back. Early this year to be little specific. Her 'topics' were 'OK'. Neither good nor bad n she had less than 50 posts in total. BUT, she had more than 70 followers.

Another funny fact is, most of them were 'Guys'! khe khe khe... Guys do follow 'ONLY' gals' blog? Why is it so? Only Gals do write good blogs? Duh!

Why Guys only follow gals? Even when it comes to blog? i can think of obvious reasons when it comes to other topics...khe khe khe... Hey gals out there - you are lucky! Your blogs get more popular than a guy's.

PS: You can read the first part here, on my other blog.

i'M hApPy...

[Pre-Script: inspired by a true story! khe khe khe...BTW, You may come across some Malayalam words. But don worry i hav given their translations also, in 'brackets']

I had a friend, Ritesh, who used to stay with his uncle then. His uncle was a drunkard. There was no time we could see him on two-legs. khe khe khe...

On a weekend, we wanted to call Ritesh at night and dialed his number. Unfortunately he was not available but his uncle answered the phone. for obvious reason, he was 'drunk'!
'HAALLLOOO' Uncle shouted!
'Hello, Can i talk to Ritesh' my friend said, havin no choice
'Aaraa?' he said in Malayalam. ('Aara' means 'Who')
'Njan Happy-ya' he said. (I'm Happy)
'Ritesh evide illaa. pinne vilikkuu..okaaayy' he cut the call having said that. (Ritesh is not here. Call later)

The next day morning, luckily when the uncle was on his 'two legs', he vaguely remembered somebody had called yesterday.
'Ritesh, ninakku ariyuo?' he mumbled. (You know what?)
'Innale aaro enne vilichu. Enittu parayuva avan Happy aanennu. hehehe... athinu avan happy anengil njan enthu venam?' he laughed out loud! (Yesterday someone phoned me n said he is happy. what should i do if he is happy?)

khe khe khe...
Hearing that Ritesh too couldn't stop his laughter. His uncle never knew his friend's 'name' was 'Happy'.

yOuR WiSh, mY cOmMaNd...

Pre Script: If ever, a genie come across my life ready to grand my wish, this would be the ONLY wish i would ask for...

When me n my wife, after returning from my bank after depositing 1 billion dollars into my account, look through the windows of my brand new BMW car, at my 4 storied duplex-home, i should see my parents waiting for me with cash of 1 billion dollars, while you standing next to them ready to grand me another wish...

Khe khe khe... :D

Photo Credit: Asif Akbar / Image

aRe aLL giRLs LiKe tHiS..? pArT 4 :-/

Pre-Script: Please do NOT continue reading if you are already offended!

boy: seems u r in good mood 2day... :D
girl: i m always in good mood.
boy: wat u do durin ur leisure time?
girl: i don hav free time. m busy al the time. :|
boy: wat happened to ur blog? y not updating it? runnin outa topics? :P
girl: i never run outa topics :|
boy: okay. wats the name of the character in the pic?
girl: Calvin. u dono?
boy: No...i m hearing tat for the first time.
girl: u havent heard? u dono Mills n boon, u dono Calvin n hobbes! Oh Gosh!
boy: Hmm... are u kinda-show-off girl?
girl: show-off? wats that?
boy: gosh! u know Mills n boon, calvin n hobbes but u dono the meanin of show-off?
girl: there is no point in talkin to u. i'm gonna block u in orkut n gtalk. go n learn manners first.
boy: don feel offended.
girl: you r such an insane. don talk to me anymore. u r a bastard with bad mouth. u r askin me not to feel offended. u can ask me if i m a show-off girl n u dint feel it offended? u r very old but immature. arent you? learn to be polite n then talk to me.
boy: *thinks* i shudnt have don this mistake talkin to her. OMG!
boy: please don use foul language...when i don react when u used tat word, it doesnt mean that i dono any words to use against :|
girl: i was normal when talkin 2u. go learn some manners. no wonder why your friend don call u.
boy: *thinks* which friend? :O
girl: hypocrite! you say to someone you aren't normal and then say don't get offended what an heroic deed! u ask me if i m showin off n u ask me not to use foul language?
girl: bye
boy: thanks! bye...

*hours later*
boy: *still tryin to figure out what really happened...*
Boy: *thinks* is askin if she s kinda-show-off girl creates this problem? she already said she was in good mood n this is the way she is replyin. then what wud be the case if she were in a bad mood? OMG! lucky me! Are all girls like this? :P fight for no reason outa no-where? Betta not to hav such a stupid friend like this! :P

PS: it wud hav been a really BIG post if i wrote the whole conversation here. So jus imagine some blah blahs in between - useless n senseless at the same time :P BTW, i'm happy to write the 4th part of 'Are All Girls Like This?' series!